Thursday, February 13, 2014

Bad Mommy

Blogging has become the equivalent of a church confessional of sorts. Okay, I'm game! Or, rather, I have no shame...which brings me to my first confession: I would do anything for a laugh, including fessing up to some Bad Mommy moments. My second confession? Some of these dirty little secrets amount to more than "moments"...

I'm guilty of...  

#1 - Lying to my two year old, Claire, about my phone being broken, so I don't have to watch Elmo again.

#2 - Serving the same meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

#3 - Pretending to be sicker than I really am, so my husband takes over childcare duties for awhile.

#4 - Shoving a Mallomar in my mouth, while secretly hiding from Claire in the kitchen.

#5 - Only cutting my daughter's fingernails when we go somewhere special.

#6 - Playing hide and go seek together, so I can take a power nap while Claire’s looking for me.

#7 - Rationalizing that its ok to not brush her teeth at night, because there's always tomorrow.

#8 - Using my daughter as an excuse to get out of social engagements.

#9 - Leaving one too many sippy cups of spoiling milk lying around the house.

#10 - Celebrating loud fart noises with my daughter.

#11 - Counting down the days til Claire goes to preschool.

#12 - Having no desire to go back to work, once preschool starts.

#13 - Blogging and ignoring my daughter (like right now).

#14 - Only believing #13 is such a crime, because the rest don't really amount to much in the scheme of life.

So, folks, how many "Hail Mary's" do I need to say? Am I absolved yet?

And, for good measure...I showed you mine. Now, you show me yours...

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Linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday, "I've been found guilty of..."


  1. HAHAH this is awesome. OMG I'm actually sad that I don't say Hail Mary's right now or I'd be saying them all day. I was so so so so sad when Tucker went to preschool (because it was sooner than I'd planned, and I wasn't ready and he needed it and well I was sad). I got so used to it and him going to preschool is how I started a blog.
    Anyway. His school was recently cut short and I feel so guilty about the fact that I'm freaking out about what to do with him for the extra hours! And these snow days??? KILLING me. So I think your list is very relatable and honest and super funny and spot-on. Thank you for writing it.

  2. Hahaha you are amazing my friend!!! :)

  3. OH gosh- I would have to write a VERY long comment if I really purged the ugly details!!! Lets just say I yelled at my kid to get his HANDS OFF OF HIS PENIS AND OUT OF HIS PANTS about 48 times today!!! Then the kid comes over to hug me with those hands..... seriously? GROSS!!! You bet I shoved that kid about four hundred yards down the hallway!
    Gosh Rachel... I am just going to God with the rest. I don't know what I would do without Jesus! Sounds Christiany but it's TRUE!!! Hail Marys doesn't cut it, I'm going STRAIGHT to the source of grace!!! ;)

  4. I believe I am guilty of pretty much all of these!

  5. I can so relate nad have done just about every one of time son handed me a cup of milk (when he was 2 yrs old) and siad it was yucky, I sipped it and realized it was the cup that was missing for three weeks...I almost died...poor kid.

  6. Ha! I'm sure I'm guilty of all these offenses and more! Yesterday I made cookie with my youngest. She knew how many we had baked and, during supper, was dividing them equally between he rest of the family. She couldn't get the math to work out - because I had eaten three already which was one more than my "equal allotment."

  7. ha I love your confessional. I am guilty of all of these, especially hiding to eat chocolate so I don't have to share!

  8. Oh! That had to feel good...getting all of that off your chest! I may have done a few (or all!) of the things on this list at one time or another and I would guess that the confessional line would be very, very long if we all had to Hail Mary our mommy bads! I do have to say though, I totally give you props for laughing at the loud farts! We still do that around here! How's that for TMI?

  9. My husband and I have been guilty of fighting over who gets to carry our 2-year-old into functions. He's a busy, busy, guy, so if there are going to be people there that we don't really feel like talking to, we can say, "Oh, shoot! He's off running again...I'd better go get him!" and voila! We're out of that conversation. :)

  10. Thank you souch for your honesty. You're far braver than I am. I love your observation about blogging being the new confessional booth. I feel like that merits a post of its own, which I'd love to read or write. You're on to something fascinating here. And I loved the post.

  11. Thank you souch for your honesty. You're far braver than I am. I love your observation about blogging being the new confessional booth. I feel like that merits a post of its own, which I'd love to read or write. You're on to something fascinating here. And I loved the post.

  12. LOL. I could admit to many of the same things as you (lack of toothbrushing, hiding for real during hide-n-seek, rarely cutting fingernails, etc.). Thanks for sharing.

  13. My husband doesn't help when I'm that one's out for me. ;)

    I did lose a child on the beach once, oh my gosh!! The oldest. I took him in the bathroom with me, he was little (prior to Kindergarten) and went under the door while I was in there... I was all of 18... it was very scary.

    Then I lost his brother years later, who was hiding under a clothes rack to be funny at the store. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson w/baby #1. ;)

    Of course losing kids is never funny when they're kids, but they're grown and safe, so I can laugh now. :)

    1. OH my gosh, I lied, I wasn't 18 when it happened (oy! I ALWAYS make mistakes when I type over here). He was probably 4, so I would have been 22 or so...geez.

      Happy weekend to you, hope you're getting to enjoy the whole family over there for a long 4-day weekend!

  14. I love this list! I'm guilty of some of these and many others. The getting out of social engagements, the shoving candy/cookies in my mouth, too much blogging (although I'm finally cutting back - it's only taken me 18 months to figure that one out), the fart noises - I'm worse than my kids. I'm the one that teaches them these crude songs, then the other parents get mad. Nice.

  15. Great post. So funny. Every mom has little guilty pleasures.

  16. My husband likes to remind me that I took a significant chunk out of my daughter's fingers when she was very young, trying to clip her nails. And of course, the time I left the basement door open....thank heavens the steps are carpeted. The rest is remaining a secret.


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