Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Why?

We moms. We're a bright bunch. It's been said that we have eyes in the back of our heads. We can distinguish the particular brand of silence that says our children are up to something, even when we're in different rooms. An instinct kicks in when they're ready to act like a bull in a china shop. We know the look in their eyes that means they're hatching their next plan or telling a lie, sometimes even before they know it.

So why are we so surprised every time it happens? By "it" I mean the endless supply of irrational, impulsive and destructive things that occur on a daily basis.

When Claire rubs crayon into the Oriental carpet or sticks her hand in the trash for the hundredth time, I'm always shocked. Each time, it feels like the first time.

Each time, I want to say "Why did you just do that?" I want to say, "Didn't I just tell you not to?" I want to say, "Why don't you listen?"

Edward Munch

When I'm particularly flabbergasted, I want to scream "Why, why, why?" to the heavens. Sometimes I do.

Am I just an eternal optimist, whose hopes are dashed each day? Do I wake up every morning believing that today will be different? Today she will listen. Today she will respect my things. Today she will follow my well-defined rules.

Of course not. I know a child needs to learn how to behave. She needs practice. She needs to be told over and over again. She needs to break the rules, even.

Yet, each time my child shows a kid's nature, I'm surprised.

I think it's because I want to be able to let my guard down every now and then. But, when I do, no good comes of it.

It sucks not being able to let your guard down every now and then.

That's why.


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42 comments:

  1. I think we do always just hope for an easy day. Hopefully lots of "exploration" on the front end will lead to an easier time down the road? Ha!

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  2. I always shout, "why meeeee!" into the heavens. I feel like adds a certain dramatic flair. I know the feeling though, I've DEFINITELY had a "why" week so far... And the stomach flu has even stopped in for a visit! HELP

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  3. And if its not you asking why its them!! A million times a day!! It only gets worse!!

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  4. I was having one of those why episodes tonight with my 18 year old. He puts off his homework until the last minute, then something unexpected comes along and he is stressing.

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  5. I ask the same question of my 8 year old... ;-)

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  6. When Boo was in Montessori, they had a spin on drive me nuts behavior. Here I was all upset that Boo emptied out all of the tupperware while I mistakenly thought I could go the bathroom and leave her for two minutes. Their spin? Wow look at the motor planning! We should be proud on how she knew to open the drawers and empty them. Me not so much. I was just like WHY can't I go the bathroom and not have destructo baby destroy the house!

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  7. I agree with you. You want to let your guard down but it feels like I get more frustrated with Reagan when I do and that is never any fun. I don't want to be that mom that sits and yells at my kid all the time!
    Ugh! Being a parent is hard work!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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    1. Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
      Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

      ¤´¨)
      ¸.•*´
      (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
      www.raising-reagan.com

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  8. Being a parent is hard! It is so hard to know how to handle the hard times.

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  9. Oh absolutely. It seems that they have an innate ability to know what annoys us, and they set out to do it. I secretly think they do have this ability. Because, let's face it - my husband and I still do stuff that annoys each other, knowing full well what the consequence will be. lol. Life is just one long learning process, or as you said, we need practice.

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  10. There are days when duct tape seems like a REALLY good idea....

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  11. It gets easier with age. Not that that helps a bit right now. ;)

    Ours right now is getting in the car. My youngest has decided it's more fun to run in the snow than get into his car seat every single morning. Phft.

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  12. I know what you mean. There are days when you just need a break from being responsible and sticking to all the rules and standing firm with the kids. It is tough. But you are doing the right thing...and later you will be thankful that you did (I know that isn't much help now, but it really is true).

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  13. We have many momentos around the house from those days, including a beautiful (sarcasm) drawing in pen behind the door in our bedroom that we have yet to paint over! For some reason, my youngest felt compelled to showcase his artistic talents on the walls of our home and in the back of the minivan. Unfortunately the eyes in the back of my head must need glasses!

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  14. Yup! Agree! So much I agree. Today, my husband was supposed to be watching Tucker when I went upstairs to change clothes from work. Tucker was right behind me but I figured that Robert was right behind him. He wasn't. So while I was just trying to do ugly girl business that involves nasty cotton, (so like what, 14 seconds???) Tucker managed to dump out the whole rubber band/fingernail scissors/clipper drawer on the floor.
    I guess I should be happy that he actually used words though. "Uh oh. Mess. Mommy." Apparently it was my mess. My stuff. Makes sense I guess.

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  15. Sometimes I want to bang my head against the wall and scream didn't I just tell you not to do that??? But I have to remind myself they are kids and still learning. But it's tough!

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  16. I just pray for an easy day. Just one. Never comes. I just sleep with one eye open - really. When I hear the chair dragging across the floor and the cabinet open - I just take off running!

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  17. Violet is just starting this and she does things and I am like whyyyyyy would you do that? Ugh. Not easy to deal with.

    Thanks for sharing your favorite post at Raising Imperfection! We feature our favorites on Friday, make sure to come back and check.
    Leslie

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  18. To this day I ask myself why. Just goes with being a parent. My youngest is 17...I have my days even now I want to scream and pull my hair out. They have a mind of their own. ... great post by the way. It shows the brutal honesty of how it really is to be a parent. No sugar coating!

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  19. Too funny and so very true. Thanks so much for sharing with Wednesday's Adorned From Above Blog Hop. Have a great week.
    Debi, Charly, Marci, and Suzan
    http://www.adornedfromabove.com

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  20. Hi, I've found you through the blog hop. New follower too! I have to say, I have a 22 year old daughter and a 10 year old son and it does get better. Truthfully, there are days that they make my hair stand on end and there are days when I think I should get a prize for raising such excellent kids!

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  21. Hello from Monday Mingling! I am following your newest fan and it would be lovely if stop by over my blog and see if you like it :)

    Have a fantastic week.

    Hugs x
    Scudds

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  22. In the same sense that we have when there is silence, they too have a sense of when your guard is down and bombard you with reasons to say 'why'! Mostly it's on days when you don't need it, they have a sixth sense!

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  23. I'm totally with you - I get so mad when my 1.5 year old draws on the wall but then try to remind myself, it is me who let my daughter have her texters in a place he can reach! GREAT post Rach. Em

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  24. I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for a surprise. My little one colored our couches with crayon once and I almost fell over right there! Thank heavens they washed off fairly easy! By the way, I'm stoppin' by from the naptime review and am now following all your social networks! :o)

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  25. Something tells me that I will have plenty of these "why" moments.

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  26. I've got kids at both ends. My oldest is in college and my youngest is in second grade. Stay vigilant (the second grader requires far more vigilance than her older brothers did), because addressing it all now means more fun with your teenager. Our oldest son has morphed into a man, one we claim as friend and whose company we enjoy. We still guide, but at his request. We still ask, but now he enjoys the discussion. Stand firm when they're young and when they grow up, you'll look back on these days with gratitude. :)

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  27. I think all parents let their guard slip sometimes, parenting is never easy Popping by from Magic Moments

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  28. That's the hard part, never having time to just rest and let your guard down. If she a takes nap, hopefully you can rest too. I've raised 4 and it gets easier as they get older. They stop putting their hands in the garbage and drawing on the floors. :) I saw you linked on the Monday Meet Up. Take care!

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    1. I have Amanda on my lap and it's hard to type, plus she moves the mouse! It's supposed to read "takes a nap".

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  29. Love it. I have 5 kids under 9 and have learned to stop asking "WhY". Somehow there is always a good reason! My youngest is 9 months and I see the baby stuff fleeing away and it makes me want more kids...not happening btw. So I am learning to accept the craziness, the poop, and the things that I will laugh about later---they are all great memories! I am hosting today at my site http://www.frugalfitfamily.com - swing by and share if you can!

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  30. Oh yes. You nailed it! And you're right; a certain amount of letting it happen is required, much to our motherly chagrin. They'll thank us for it later. But in the meantime, it's Edvard Munch time! :)

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  31. fab post, thanks for linking up with #magicmoments :-) xx

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  32. This is an awesome post. I often feel that way as well that I can not let my guard down for one minute. I feel sometimes I need it up while sleeping because you just don't want to take a chance.

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  33. I can totally relate. Every time I let my guard down, another wall gets colored on, chocolate milk is spilled on the bed and my jewelry ends up all over the floor. Just comes with the territory...

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  34. Dude, if you've read anything I've written, you will know my son is a Gun-toting, pyro-maniac, nuff said.

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  35. My girl is 16 and she still surprises me :)

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  36. ha thats so funny, the number of times i hear myself saying "Why did you do that?" as if I'm three wasn't a good enough reason. I'm sharing this on the Sunday Parenting Party Pin board

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  37. I completely understand where you are coming from as I let my guard down a little bit with my nine year old and he wasn't handing in his school work assignments on time. Unfortunately, we have to be like white on rice when it comes to our kids, at all times. Thank you so much for participating in the Monday Mingle at Tough Cookie Mommy

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  38. Oy! I just went through this yesterday with my 7 year old son who turned the water on at the back of the house. I know we told him not to do that last year. I need to go over the rules again for this year. And, maybe put a big red X on the spigot!


    Thanks for sharing at Motivation Monday! Hope to see you again next week!

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  39. Oy! I just went through this yesterday with my 7 year old son who turned the water on at the back of the house. I know we told him not to do that last year. I need to go over the rules again for this year. And, maybe put a big red X on the spigot!


    Thanks for sharing at Motivation Monday! Hope to see you again next week!

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