Eleven Ways Toddlers are like Drunks

I asked a friend of mine about his New Year’s Eve, and he responded candidly: “I don’t drink

anymore, so I find my drunk friends annoying. They either can't hold a conversation or they act crazy.”

In return, I joked that his night sounded like daily life with a toddler. My friend has a teenager, so he
commiserated about not missing those times. We started talking about how much toddlers remind us of drunk people in many uncanny ways. They both:

1) Can’t walk a straight line

2) Are loud and unruly in social situations

3) Spill their drink

4) Fall randomly

5) Cry 

6) Slur their words

7) Are prone to taking their clothes off in public

8) Have no sense of personal space

9) Spare no one the ugly truth

10) Suffer from memory loss

11) Shouldn’t operate heavy machinery

Toddlers and drunks are opposite in one important way though. When you are sober around a toddler, you really want a drink. When you are sober around drunks, you never want to drink again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS! May 2014 be a year of health, happiness, love and prosperity for you and yours.

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