"Mama" is a Universal Word

Every culture has a form of the word“mama” in it’s language -– the mmm sound, followed by a vowel that means "mother". How uncanny! And fitting. After all, the experience of mothering is universal in so many ways. While every child is unique and individual, children will be children. Sometimes, this truth is to our delight, other times, to our dismay.

Either way, we experience many of the same stages of development and watch our children reach similar milestones. Both happen at varying times for each child with individual shadings and amplitudes, but, often times, the commonalities between us outweigh our differences.

Despite our commonalities, moms generally connect around them after the fact. The moments worthy of sharing happen first between mama and child, intimate and one-one-one. A beautiful thing, for sure, but potentially isolating as well.

I think that’s one of the reasons we all like being part of the mom blogger community. We read each other’s posts looking for that “I KNOW!” feeling. We seek validation that our experience is shared by moms around the world. We may not have exactly the same experience or always agree with each other’s solutions or parenting philosophies, but, one way or another, we can relate to the many trials, tribulations, and triumphs of raising children.

Tell me who among you hasn't felt the hand of the writer coming through the computer and touching you in that unique mom place in your heart? Who has not laughed so hard at something you’re reading that your significant other just had to know what’s so funny?

So many writers have struck a chord with me, lightened my mood, made me feel understood or less alone. In fact, I learned the amazing tidbit about the universality of the word "mama" from my blogger friend, Therese. Then, there's Katia and her post about our dreams and expectations for our kids. Kristi’s post about feeling the fleeting nature of youth. Jean’s about negotiating the tricky, unwritten rules of the playground.  Stephanie’s about those times when mommy guilt rears its ugly head. Deb’s about the many ways that toddlers can drive you insane.

So many, alas, I'm leaving so many out! I have just scratched the surface of the many moms who have had me nodding, laughing or crying. Sometimes all three. The connection I have felt to each one of them has been invaluable to me as a mom. On a particularly hard day, it's the only thing that has kept me going!

I started thinking about the connections between moms because of Taming The Goblin. I’ve looked forward to reading post by my mom blogger friend "The Monko" every Sunday for all of the reasons I've mentioned above. Then, she asked me to consider co-hosting the Sunday Parenting Party link-up, along with her and several other terrific bloggers. I was honored and excited, because SPP is a hop specifically for posts about parenting issues, advice and experiences (see description below) and a great place to connect with like-minded writers. So...welcome to the Sunday Parenting Party! I do hope you will link a parenting post. I'm so glad to be part of the SPP community and hope you will be too!

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Welcome to The Sunday Parenting Party, hosted by Dirt and Boogers, Play Activities, Crayon Freckles, Taming the Goblin, The Golden Gleam, Prickly Mom, and The Tao of Poop. The SPP is place for readers to find ideas on nurturing, educating, and caring for children, as well as honest posts about the stresses of being a parent or caregiver. Links to reviews and giveaways are welcome as long as they are relevant to the topic. All parenting philosophies are welcome with one exception: please do not link to posts promoting physical discipline, as this is something we would feel uncomfortable having on our blogs. (P.S. By linking up you agree that your post and photos are Pinterest, Sulia, G+ and FB friendly. We will be showcasing ideas on The Sunday Parenting Party Pinterest board.)

 

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Name Calling

My friend Kate gets up in arms when people teach their children the correct anatomical names for their private parts. She fears that her daughters will be exposed to them at school or on the playground. A world full of pee-pee's and wee-wee's would suit her just fine.

I told her that her impulse to shield her children from perceived bad influences is admirable, but that it's like trying to keep them from catching a cold. Sometimes the odds are in your favor, sometimes not.

I also offered her the unsolicited advice that, when faced with this situation, she could use it as an opportunity to explain how all families are different and that we need to be respectful of other people's beliefs, while maintaing our own. 

That just made her mad. I understand. I don't like unsolicited advice either. We did restore harmony to our conversation, though. We agreed that it's really cool to watch your child learn to speak (private parts aside). 

Personally, I'm fascinated by speech and language development. Why is it that when Claire says "helicopter", it sounds like "belly hooper", but she can say the word "clementine" clear as a bell?  

But, as Claire starts connecting the things in her world with words, I am realizing that there are whole classes of words that we have to decide what to call or whether to use at all. Until recently, I hadn't begun to contemplate my role as Maoist censor in her life. I find it more complicated than choosing her name at birth.

Clearly, we have tried to whitewash curse words from our vocabulary. And we don't want her to use words like "hate" and "stupid". Much to my dismay, certain words have already entered her vocabulary. Claire seems to find the word "butt" extremely funny. I live in fear of the moment when she screams "Mama butt" in public, or something equally embarrassing. I know it's going to happen. She's also very fond of the words "booger" and "fart". My husband and I hadn't developed a sound philosophy about what to call things like these, which are a part of everyday reality and need to be named something.

We did agree that Claire should learn the words for her body parts, "vagina" included. Mainly because they do have names. I haven't gotten up the nerve to tell Kate about this decision. I'm hoping she will still let us play with her daughters. I'm counting on the fact that she will find some consolation in our other decision, which is to teach Claire the difference between words that are public and those that are private (after all that's why they're called "private parts", right?) 

Right now, though, my 19 month old will have no grasp of this concept. I'm thinking I should start plastering her with parental advisory stickers to give people a heads up that my daughter may display behavior similar to someone with Tourette Syndrome. Since that strategy is clearly impractical, we'll have to get used to the fact that we are in for a long, booger butt ride.


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