Wednesday, February 29, 2012

In the Scheme of Things

I told George that our baby Claire was born carrying all her eggs inside her tiny body. He asked in amazement, “So you’re telling me she has our grandchildren inside her already?” I said, “Well, if she has children, yes”.

Right now, it’s all beautiful potential.

Claire was a promise for me for a long time as well. Nine months in my belly, yet the possibility of her has been with me my whole life. That must say something about the psychic bond between mother and child. For Claire and me, it’s been a long journey together. Forty-four years together, then George joined the mix and she became her own separate person. I like to believe that she was born wiser than the rest, because she lived a half a lifetime as part of me before started her own lifetime.

It’s a wonder she or any of us are born at all. Remember when they used to give a prize to the thousandth customer to walk through the department store doors? It’s kind of like that. One lucky somebody gets to be the thousandth customer, but many, many more need to make up the nine hundred ninety-nine who go before.

And that’s just the half of it, literally. You get one shot to swim better than 300 million others.

Right from the start, the male and female impulse seems so contrary – on the feminine side, hanging out patiently and waiting for just the right moment to take the plunge, on the male, jumping from the gate and enduring the race. With each, there’s an indefinable measure of grace.

As I look at her sleeping, she is so substantially her, so uniquely Claire. The seeming randomness of it all makes me shiver.


  1. WOW, so well said and beautifully put. It's such an come who we are. Females slow and steady, men use stamina and endurance....who reaches first. I look at 'Bug' and makes me smile. Thanks for introducing me to your blog on Empower Tuesday Blog Hop. Come back again

  2. I will be back. I love the theme of your blog hop. I feel empowered!

  3. Thanks for sharing!! Loved how you looked at male & female :)

  4. Such a cool thought! I have three kids by birth, but I never thought of things quite in this way before. Thanks!

    And thanks for linking up with the TALU!

  5. I think I remember reading this; not sure why I didn't comment! I like the idea that you carried her around the whole time...

    Oh, wait! I wasn't even blogging at this point! That's why I didn't comment!

  6. Oh Rachel, I love are such a beautiful writer and see the beauty in every moment

  7. Such an amazing way to look at it all. And a little sad too, for those of us who couldn't have our own children. Not really though. I wouldn't have it any other way. They say when you choose to adopt you must mourn the fact that you won't have biological children. It is a little like this. However the potential for him to be born inside another womb was always there, and always meant for me. Thanks for re-sharing this beautiful post!


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