Sunday, December 2, 2012

Holiday Confession: I Hate Elf on the Shelf

You can divide the world into two camps in many ways. Coke or Pepsi, Lennon or McCartney, people who steal pens vs. those who lose them. During the holiday season, it's Elf on the Shelf lovers vs. Elf haters.

Oh, wait, according to Amy at "Funny is Family", 99% of Americans are pro-Elf! Alas, she and I find ourselves among the minority regarding the newest holiday tradition to sweep the nation. I'm emboldened by her recent post, I Hate Elf on the Shelf, to add my dissent...


Elf on the Shelf is nothing more than a snitch. He's a brown-noser looking to curry favor with Santa by sharing your deepest, darkest secrets. Just when he's lulled you into complacency by looking a little too cute, he stabs you in the back without blinking an eye. I want to wipe that disingenuous smile right off his phony face.



At any other time during the year, I wouldn't invite a spy into my house. The holiday season is no different. Isn't it enough that Santa's watching like Homeland Security? 

Look, I realize I'm new to the Christmas with kids game -- and motherhood, for that matter. My daughter is a mere 18-months-old. She doesn't get that Santa or the North Pole even exist yet. Right now, we don't require the perceived threat of a pint-sized weasel to keep our child in line. 

I'm humble enough to know that I have yet to encounter what I will resort to, in order to keep my child merry and bright during the holiday season. I'm open to changing my mind about the value that an extra set of tiny eyes can add to maintaining Peace on Earth.

But, until a clear and present danger is unequivocally established, Elf on the Shelf will remain a tattletale who is not welcome in my home.

Elf on the shelf haters unite

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133 comments:

  1. Where did this Elf on the Shelf guy come from? I've never even seen him before? And he's creeeeeepy looking.

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    1. He hasn't been around that long. That's why you've never heard of him. He comes with a book that explains that he is watching your kids and will share their misdeeds with Santa.

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  2. Ha! I just linked up about Elf on Shelf too. He doesn't work anyway!

    http://www.thenaptimereview.com/2012/12/help-me-rhonda.html

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  3. I'm in total agreement with you. However, I want you to print this and frame it because you are right, in a few years you'll most likely be eating your words.

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  4. Ha its the 3rd of December here and I have not even finished decorating the tree or unpacked the elf I brought!!

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  5. Love seeing the other perspective of Elf on the Shelf. Admittedly we incorporated it this year. Reagan is just over two but she is definitely being kept in check!

    Thank you for linking with Raising Imperfection. Please come back Friday to see if you were featured!
    Hope you entered to be our co-host! You get an entry just for linking up!

    Lanaya
    www.raising-reagan.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously, I'm glad it's working for you!

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  6. Hahahaha, I love that you call him a brown noser!

    Thanks for linking to Raising Imperfection each week!
    Leslie
    www.violetimperfection.com

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  7. lol, I love this!

    www.southernramblings.com

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  8. I'm right there with you! Saw this on Pinterest and it completely captured how I feel! I think that the Elf is just a creepy as the Stephen King Clown!

    http://pinterest.com/pin/215821007114554706/

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  9. Never heard of elf on the shelf until recently with elf shaming, which I find hilarious (it's for adults only, mom humor rated R, check out elfshaming.com if you dare). And I'm not big on promoting fantasy characters, there are enough of them on TV!

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  10. Elf on the shelf is just another marketing ploy to make parents buy more ridiculous "things" for their kids. Although, some of the antics I've seen on others blogs are kinda cute...Damn...no, I will not succumb to the allure of the crazed, brown nosing (love that too!) vertically challenged elf!

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  11. Just came across your blog, from the Nugget On A Budget Blog and, and its title intrigued me. And your opinion about Mr. Elf had me giggling out loud....I'm now seeing that little guy in a new and more cynical light ;-). You write very well, and I look forward to checking out more of your blog soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a much less cynical attitude about Santa Clause!!

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  12. The Elf on the Shelf is a total creeper, and I think the idea in general is terrible.

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  13. Agreed Rachel. Way creepy. Reminds me of spying on my cheating girlfriend in
    high school. I had same facial expression when I looked in her window, and
    he even looks like he's in my baseball uniform! She knew I was watching and let
    me tell you, it didn't deter my girlfriend from anything. Made it worse, actually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the red baseball uniform probably sent her into the arms of another man!

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  14. I never even knew what it was and started seeing it lately. It actually, to me, looks pretty retarded. I don't understand the concept nor any reason for it.

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  15. Pahahaha, I spent all of Thursday getting told what, exactly, elf on the shelf is. I'm not sure how I feel about it, since I don't have kids yet, but I'm sure I'll join the cult if, one day, it's the only thing that keeps the little rugrats in line!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, to each his own, when it comes to parenting!

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  16. This is definitely a new one for me...and it comes with the elf, too. That is pretty cool. Loved the post. genie

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  17. I'm new to the Elf the Shelf thing too -- just really heard about it this year and my kids are still too young for it, but it does seem like he's always up to no good. Nicely written post. :) Very fun.

    Lindsey @ GrowingKidsMinistry.com

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    Replies
    1. Who knows if I'll cave a few years from now!

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  18. this was great, but I have to admit... I just bought Elf on the Shelf for my daughter (for my grandchildren).
    We'll see how it goes.

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  19. Because of all the elf talk among Bloggers lately, I just ordered one of the stupid things just to see what all the talk was about. NOW I'm hearing what a mean little dude he is. I'm thinking I will have to embarrass him on Facebook a few times to teach him a lesson!

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    Replies
    1. I've read about the shenanigans that happen at your home! If I were you, I would be worried about having a spy around :)

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  20. Lovely elf!

    Hopping by from MYM.
    Here's my Mellow Yellow entry.

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  21. I keep seeing this little guy popping up in instagram pics! I hope he helps keeps the household in line. :)

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  22. never heard of the elf until i saw the 'i hate elf on the shelf' post earlier..
    am now following you on GFC - from monday mingle..

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  23. Just another dust collector really. I'm not rushing to get one, my kids would still give me the shits lol.

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  24. Hi, I found your blog on the GFC Blog Hop.

    While I don't have any children yet, I do agree I do not like Elf on a Shelf. Honestly, I'm slightly creeped out by it. My husband thinks I'll change my mind once we have kids, and they are old enough to know what's going on, but I doubt it. Maybe the whole craze will be over by then, I can only hope.

    http://ineversaiditwouldbeeasy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I may one day find he's my best ally! Until then...

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  25. New follower from the GFC blog hop! You had me at "I hate elf on a shelf."
    Jen @ Craftymisadventures.com

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  26. Hi! Visiting from TALU. I just posted about this yesterday. Too funny! http://www.findingninee.com/elf-on-a-shelf-is-creepy/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely NOT and I love how you called him a "pint sized weasel" - awesome! :)

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  27. That is the craziest, creepiest thing ever! I'm with you on this one. lol

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Renee! NIce to be in good company!

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  28. Found you through Tell Me Tuesday.

    I hate Elf on the Shelf too. Creepy little thing. And I see all these pictures on Instagram and Facebook with other moms 'bragging' about the creative predicaments Buddy has got himself into tonight. And it makes me wish there was a dislike button more than ever.

    http://mrsdchastain.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The dislike button would have a different finger pointed up!

      Delete
  29. I completely agree! Odd, though: we received pencils in our stockings with an elf that looked just like that clinging desperately onto the eraser...about 45 years ago. Doesn't the little bastard ever age?

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    Replies
    1. Ha/ha! I remember those pencils! Yes, he's way older than any of us. Maybe he's a vampire!

      Delete
  30. THIS is awesome and i completely agreed. well said!

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  31. I've just seen and heard of the Elf this year. My son is going on 8, but I couldn't/wouldn't get passed the Elf's look (I might be a little freaked out by ventriloquist dolls without the hand) so - that settles that. ~TALU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So funny! He does look like a ventriloquist's doll! Never thought of it.

      Delete
  32. This is the first year I even heard of him (my daughter is almost 2). I thought it was all about the hunt to find him each day... which is a concept I like, because I'm a big fan of 'hide and seek' type games. I DON'T like that he's become such a big thing - it just isn't cool anymore if EVERYONE on the block is doing it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm getting up speed on the many uses of Elf. It appears he's versatile.

      Delete
  33. We do the Elf but it's different in our house. Our elf comes with a letter from Santa (forgo the book). The letter talks about Jesus and the reason for Christmas. You are welcome to check it out
    http://thesweetpeapod.blogspot.com/2012/11/letter-from-santa-to-go-with-eli-elf.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Without the book is better, in my mind. It's a good idea to make these things your own.

      Delete
  34. I'm not a fan of the Elf either. The eyes creep me out. I've also blogged about it before and some people were like, "No, it's adorable!" In what sense?!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I'm not alone! Happy to be in good company. He's NOT adorable!

      Delete
  35. Haha, great post relevant to the times ;-)

    I wasn't going to do Elf on the Shelf b/c it seemed punitive; the Elf can be a narc!

    But, then I came across all the super fun Pinterest ideas (a peppermint "seed" that grows into candy canes...that it awesome!) & I was sold. My 2 1/2 year old doesn't really get it, and we definitely don't follow all the "rules," but we're both having fun with it :-)

    Stopping by via Jelli's MMM...

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  36. ugh, I'm not a fan of Elf on a Shelf either. I figure I can get through this Christmas and next before having to address that issue. TALU

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  37. LOL friends of mine did a similar thing so I liked some of the idea (never seen the actual elf on the shelf or read it shame on me!). We have elves who visit BUT they visit as they are mischievious and they have been annoying father christmas so they come to see how nice children behave and learn, My children LOVE our elves visiting, they have just got ready for the morning today they are bringing the children some festive pictures to colour in, the other day they got hold of some festive stickers much to the childrens amusement. I will also say mine are MUCH friendlier elves!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's always better to make these things your own. Makes for a more personal tradition.

      Delete
  38. I have no idea who that elf is. LOL By the way, I am having my 2 year blog anniversary giveaway. I am giving away a Deborah Lippmann nail polish and a golden star necklace. Come check it out!

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  39. Did you do the elf-shaming, like the mom-shaming? I wanted to, but those stupid elves cost like $30 and I'm not gonna pay to get one just for a joke. TALU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rachel, I'm not even sure how to respond to your email via GFC. How's that for tech-smart. I'm at http://www.canigetanotherbottleofwhine.com

      Delete
    2. Ha! I didn't even check out the elf's cost. I am way too cheap to get involved in elf-shaming!

      Delete
  40. Thank you so much for posting about this. I, too, was confused at all the malarky about it...even though I thoroughly enjoyed my friend's FB pic of her TP'd Christmas tree. I thought he was a prankster; at least he is in her house. Found you through the GFC blog hop. New follower!

    Lisette
    http://northernbellediaries.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. I'm learning that Elf is versatile. Prankster is better than narc, in my mind!

      Delete
  41. OMG I totally agree. It's so freaking creepy.

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  42. Ha ha! Yeah I'm not really a fan either!
    Just so you know, IBOT is for new links. I encourage people to write specifically for tuesday so that more comment love is shared. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm in good company then. Sorry. I'll get IBOT right next time! Thanks for the link-up.

      Delete
  43. This is the first year that I have ever seen/heard of Elf on a shelf, and to be honest I don't really understand what the go is....Do I want to ?
    Oh well each to their own I guess.
    Have a great Christmas xx

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I agree. To each his own. Merry Christmas to you and yours too, Beck!!

      Delete
  44. I am so with you...and let's not forget that fact that he scares the living hoo-ha out of some kids. Yes, speaking from a most unfortunate personal experience. :(
    Stay strong!

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    Replies
    1. Oooo, that sounds traumatic! Thanks for the support!

      Delete
  45. I hadn't heard about the elf on a shelf until last year and it seems all our friends with kids do it... I think it's so dumb! We also don't play up santa in our house (they love the story of St. Nick, but we don't pretend santa actually comes through our chimney and leaves gifts) Our kids ADORE Christmas for what it really is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's a phenomenon that seems to have taken the country by storm!

      Delete
  46. You know it's funny, I never thought much about elves one way or another. The only elf I think that's cute is Herbie on Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. But, that being said then I would have to say Elves are not my favorite of Christmas symbols and would certainly be my last choice for decorating my home during the holiday season. Great fun post! Thanks for linking up at Cathy Kennedy's Blog!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Herbie is really cute! He's an exception in my book too!

      Delete
  47. Yuuup! My twins are not even 2 yet, but I am already wondering if they will be social pariahs because their mother refuses to take part in the new elf phenomenon. Not gonna do it!!

    Stephanie @ two-daloo.com

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  48. Hi I found you through thirsty thursday. funny post, but my boys love that darn elf so he is welcome in my home.

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    Replies
    1. A woman's home is her castle, so have all the Elf magic you want!

      Delete
  49. I never thought of it that way, but you have a good point. We had it easy. Be good or Mom & Dad won't get you what you want for Chanukah. ;)

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Even when I was good, I rarely got what I wanted!

      Delete
  50. Found your blog through the Friendly Friday link-up! SO GLAD I DID! You hare HILARIOUSSS. And the elf is kind of creepy...

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  51. Love your confession!
    I had never heard of this elf on the shelf until this year, and I've seen it EVERYWHERE. And to be honest, I'm kind of beginning to not like it.

    I'm a new follower from the friendly friday hop! :)

    www.thislifesbeautifulmoments.com

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    Replies
    1. Yes, the fact that he's everywhere was what prompted the post!

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  52. I think he's creepy! Plus some of the mischief he gets into... I really don't want to clean up. Stopping by from friendly friday hop...

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    1. If we're talking mischief and mess-makers, then, I already have a couple of elves in my home...all year round!

      Delete
  53. Hi there! I'm Hanna. I donlt reall ygive a darn one way or another but certainly wouldn;t buy one. I found you through Tuesday's blog hop, I'm just really late:) I love making new friends!!! I am your newest follower via GFC. Happy Holidays! You can find me at www.bouffeebambini.blogspot.com

    xooxo Hanna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, thirty dollars is better spent elsewhere, in my opinion. Happy Holidays, Hanna!

      Delete
  54. Yes! I hate him so much. He seriously creeps me out -- not kidding. Yikes! I loved this post and the other posts I hung around and checked out. Therefore, I would like to award you a liebster. Check it out here: http://notappropriate4.blogspot.com/2012/10/you-won-what-is-that-thing_17.html If you accept, I would be happy and honored. You can just leave a comment anywhere on my blog to let me know. Then when you do your post, let me know and I'll link you back in. Hooray for shared Elf on the Shelf Hatred. :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. I linked up at Secret Mommyhood Confessions about the SAME DAMN THING but you wrote it so much better. lol
    Maybe if he wasn't so CREEPY looking?!?!
    PS on the bottom of this post there's an ad for ELF ON THE SHELF!!! LMAO

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  56. I've never really liked him because he's just so darn creepy (and more than a little cheesy) but I never knew until now that he was also a spy to modify your kids behaviour. Yuck! We don't do the whole "you better be good or else Santa won't bring you any presents" thing here. Thanks for linking up to The Sunday Parenting Party.

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    Replies
    1. I think people use his powers in different ways. From what I understand, the book has him spying on the kiddies.

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  57. It is great to stand for the truth you know.

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  58. Replies
    1. And, here, I thought I was in the minority!

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  59. Blog hopping & following... Happy Holidays! DreamHeartDesigns.blogspot.com

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  60. I want to know how this all started as well!
    Newest follower from the GFC Blog Hop. Hope you can check out my latest post! www.nellecreations.com and follow back on GFC and Facebook! Also have a giveaway going on to win Sunglasses!

    Save 10% on your first GLOSSYBOX!

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  61. Haha- this is all sorts of awesome!!! We never did Elf on the Shelf- gasp!

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  62. oh my gosh i totally agree. i think Elf on the Shelf is so dumb. not only is it just {another thing to do} along side with cooking cleaning and buying presents. i feel like its also just {another thing} that distracts kids from the true meaning of what christmas is about. haha and he's freaking nightmare{ish} looking? ew. like a skinny version of chucky doll.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have enough to do -- like write a post about my dislike for the guy!

      Delete
  63. AMEN. He is the creepiest thing ever created. I just keep thinking of him ending up in my underwear drawer sniffing my panties. Gross.

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    Replies
    1. Kimberly, you are hilarious! I love, love, love when you leave comments on my blog. They make my day!!

      Delete
  64. Even if he weren't creepy (which he is) I'm totally against anything I have to remember to do every day. I can't even manage the tooth fairy thing and she only comes occasionally.

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  65. Not too fond of this guy either, and thankfully my son is afraid of it. My husband was all for doing it this year.

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