Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Home for the Holidays? Bah Humbug!


Holiday travel is not for the faint of heart. Holiday travel with a child makes me want to send my regrets to those close to my heart. 

Before we even cross the airport threshold, I've questioned our holiday plans a few times. I'm squeezing one too many things into my rolly-bag, and I wonder how it's possible that a baby half my size can require twice the amount of stuff as me. In long-term parking, I consider the fact that it took an hour-and-a-half to get to the airport, yet we haven't even begun the journey. 

The security lines are extra long this time of year ('tis the season), which is lovely because, in case you forgot, I'm carrying a lot of extra stuff. Plus a baby the size of Santa's sack. Our fellow comrades in line are neither merry nor bright, because...well, because they're in line too. Homeland Security isn't bright and merry, because...well, because they're Homeland Security. 

Waiting at the gate, I have to supervise an overstimulated baby, who manages to find emergency exit doors, random buttons to push and her way into the crowd of people rushing to their gates. Travelers bop like moving targets; my toddler walks like a drunkard. It's a video game gone awry. 

Three hours later, we finally squeeze down the too small aisle to the thousandth row of the plane (in case you forgot: with stuff and baby). I feel some sense of relief when we are finally have all our paraphernalia situated, and I get the small consolation of resting my weary bones down on an unforgiving middle seat that's the width of one ass cheek. 

But, wait, travel still has not officially commenced!

I start to wonder if it's too late to turn back. Microwave popcorn and a glass of chardonnay starts to sound like a sufficient holiday feast to me. 

Sorry dear relatives. Popcorn might not be quintessentially Norman Rockwell, but neither is getting from here to eternity during the holiday rush. We'll plan our next trip over Arbor Day when things are a little less hectic. Maybe, we'll plant a tree instead of cutting one down!


41 comments:

  1. Lol! I've traveled a few times with my little one, and it wasn't too bad. But it wasn't during the holidays, or any busy travel time. I can't picture that!!

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    1. You are clearly much more tolerant than me!

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  2. Ooh, precisely why I refused to travel to OR for xmas this year! We're going in February instead. Way more civilized. Oh wait, it's President's Day Weekend. Guess not. ;-)

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  3. The one good part of travelling to Fiji was when we arrived at the Fijian airport they let anyone with kids go through the vip section. We had our bags, went through duty free, went through customs and got changed before the rest of the family came out!! Other countries should take note of this!!

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    1. That would be great!! Delta is the only airline that I know of that let's you pre-board with kids. We always try and take them, because of this. At least it's something!

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  4. I have avoided travel with children as much as possible. Even a two-hour car ride becomes hell on Earth! I do think most airlines will let you pre-board though... I hope your trip was wonderful and worth it.

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    1. Nooo! As far as I know, Delta is the only airline that still pre-boards. (People may start to wonder if I'm amply compensated to say this by Delta. Not the case, just happy for this one small traveling reprieve!)

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  5. Haha! Reading this confirms my reasons for not flying anymore. My advice? Stay home for Christmas and enjoy that popcorn and wine!

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    1. Will you come join me for a glass of wine?! :)

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  6. LOL! And my kids wonder why I prefer to drive to North Carolina, despite the fact it's a 14 hour drive. I'd rather spend 14 hours looking at the beautiful mountains and scenery between Illinois and North Carolina than 14 hours finding parking, finding terminals, waiting, waiting, waiting, RUSHING to make the connecting flight and trying to fit my fat ass onto that tiny seat in the airplane while still being able to breathe....all that fun and more takes almost as long as just driving!

    Thank goodness I never traveled with a toddler. I think I'd have totally lost my mind!!

    Thanks for linking up with the GtKY hop again this week!! I needed this laugh!

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    1. Funny, I just commented on your blog that your family looked so happy in NC!

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  7. Ha! This cracked me up. Hopped over to your blog and had to say hi!

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  8. Oh goodness. Flying with a baby is so stressful. I did it twice this year all by myself. And I was pregnant, so no anxiety meds for me! Found you via the Aloha Blog hop!

    Tracie
    Weddedblissplusbaby.blogspot.com

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  9. Ughhhh I HATE when I have to fly with my daughter. I hate the feeling that the other passengers are just glaring at you waiting for you kid to fly! Stopping by and am a new follower from the TGIF blop! If you get a chance I would love for you to stop by Crazy Mama Drama!

    http://crazy-mama-drama.blogspot.com/

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Mama-Drama/259491484156846

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    1. Yes! I didn't even talk about the glares! Makes it even worse.

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  10. the first time we had to travel with our son, he was 3 weeks old! We live in Paris and London and he's used to Eurostar and airplane. My secret : my Ipad, stickers and colouring books!
    I came from Claire Justine linky to say Hi ;) I'm a new GFC follower now!

    http://ellecrafts.blogspot.com

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  11. Wow! Glad all our family is driving distance!

    New follower from Weekend Blog Walk.
    http://musingsofamommabear.blogspot.com/2012/11/shes-here.html

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    1. That usually comes with its own issues, too :)

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  12. We gave up traveling during the holidays long ago. Sometimes it's hard (our families are 2000 miles away). But now that we have the baby? People *suddenly* want to come to us! Winning! :)

    New follower from the hop!
    www.everydayisha.com

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    1. Wow, even the baby doesn't seem to get people over our way! Still seem to be "required" to make the trip.

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  13. Travel during the holidays is an utter nightmare. I have done my fair share over the years and it's always more hassle than it's worth (or at least it seems that way after hours in line)

    I found you through a blog hop, glad I did! I look forward to reading your posts and am now following you! Come on by the Aloha Friday Blog hop and link up with us too!! It's easy and you could end up being next week's featured blogger!! Come on by and link up if you please!! It's a great way to get more followers and we'd love to have you at the Aloha Friday Blog Hop

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    1. It seems I'm not the only one! Have linked up, thanks!

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  14. Hi Lovely, I'm your new follower from Blog Hop.
    Love your awesome blog. Feel free to check out & follow my blog @ revampspunkyrena.blogspot.com
    xoxo
    Rena

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  15. I am with you! Popcorn and chardonnay sound like an ideal feast after kids are in the game. So funny! Sharing this via #findingthefunny on twitter.
    Meredith
    www.themomoftheyear.net

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    1. Feel free to join me. I can't drink the whole bottle alone...oh, wait, maybe I can!

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  16. Oh goodness! Hopefully your trip turned out well :) I myself would be just as happy with popcorn or cereal lol. Although I'd do need the dessert ;)

    Thanks for linking up with my NO RULES Weekend Blog Party!

    Paula
    lifeasknowitbypaula.blogspot.com

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  17. Traveling during the holidays with a child is just crazy. I try to avoid it. We have resorted to paying for my mother and nieces ticket. Our child is now 7 and it does not seem to be that much easy because she still needs things to do so she is not asking the are we there question in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. And it does not help the we are in the United Kingdom right now. It is a long flight just to have a little dinner.

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  18. I have never traveled by plane with children in tow, but have with a two year old on a 10 hour drive. I don't care how many "things" you bring along to make the trip more pleasant, the child is never interested in anything but getting out of that damn vehicle. Those built in DVD players, coloring or activity books, packing the pantry, none of that matters... but I am thankful that most of my family that I want to see lives within 2 hours of where I live.

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  19. We haven't travelled by plane yet with Dora. The thought petrifies me. Well done to you :)

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  20. Hi,
    New follower from the blog hop please come follow me back :)
    http://lifewithtwinsandadramaqueen.com/

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  21. I have never travelled with my family over the holidays. I couldn't even imagine taking him on the plane. All them overhead buttons...eeeks

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  22. First of all I really, really love your blog name. Simply awesome.

    Anyways...I'm so extremely lucky that all of my immediate family live within 45 minutes of me. I can't imagine having to travel during the holidays. Between the crowds, the jacked up prices, the bad weather we get in Michigan... I'm having anxiety just thinking about it! LOL

    Lisa

    P.S. Thanks for linking up to the GtKY blog hop! :)

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