Monday, November 26, 2012

How Does Your Garden Grow?




Claire liked Thanksgiving at her grandfather's house in Florida. She would run up and down the sidewalk in front of the house in the sun. "Moon! Moon! Moon!" she called out to the big sky, even though it was the middle of the day.

Then, a popping sound brought her to a dead stop. The quality of her voice changed. "Loud," she said tentatively, while her legs carried her backwards. "Pop…Pop…Pop, Pop," rang out in rapid fire. She raced to my side and cried, "Loud!" This time with more conviction. I tried soothing her, but she couldn't get used to the sound. Eventually, we went inside.

Claire was hearing a firing range about a mile away from our gated community. It seemed counterintuitive to say to her that everything was alright. After all, gunfire should be feared. But it was unsettling to see her so upset. There really wasn't any danger anyway. And I was angry that she couldn't continue to play. I wished that I could explain to her that it was ok to ignore the popping sound, like the rest of us do.

Just like I've learned to ignore that people fear their children dying everyday. The sound of the firing range began to feel real to me too. I tried to imagine what I would tell my daughter then. I pictured what a fear-filled life would look like. I envisioned my daughter's world shrinking to fit into a small, sheltered place. I thought of the unimaginable happening.

Oh, but I think too much; I went too far with the last bit. So I reminded myself that it was only a firing range, that we were free from harm behind gates and privilege.

I felt safer again. I felt thankful for our life.

But I had gone back to ignoring. And I felt ashamed of myself.

39 comments:

  1. Poor wee lamb. It must have been so unsettling for her and for you. We are all blessed if we don't have to fear a fearful life I guess.

    Thanks for linking up :)

    Sarah @ A Cat-Like Curiosity

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  2. Hola Rachele,
    Poor little baby. It must have been very scary for her, but I'm sure she felt safe in your arms. My mind sometime wanders into fear especially where my girls are concerned, no need to feel ashamed. We all go through it. Happy you all were okay. Thanks for linking up!

    ~SimplyyMayra :)

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  3. It's so hard not to ignore, because acknowledging is SO SO SO unsettling.

    ~Mystika Faith (www.Monstersgonewild.ca)

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  4. Yeah. I get it. If I didn't ignore I'd be immobilized; if I ignore, well, that's not how I want to raise my son.

    On the other hand, there is a time and a place for lessons... sounds like this time she just needed to be soothed. And you, too.

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    1. Lessons for later. Now, just lots of hugs.

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  5. It's sad to think of parts of our world living moments like this everyday, and it NOT being just a firing range. Thanks for linking up to TALU.

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    1. I feel so powerless to do anything about it, too.

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  6. That is such a great post. I completely understand what you are talking about. Sometimes I try to imagine our family living somewhere where people fear for their children's lives daily, and then I too can't take it anymore and go back to our happy bubble. It's hard to find a balance of awareness isn't it? Thanks for linking that one up to TALU.

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  7. I often get uneasy during hunting season here when I'm out i the yard and hear shots going off nearby. I know it has gone on forever, but there's always that random accident ... can't imagine living in an area where it goes on all the time and it's not just deer in the cross hairs! :( [#TALU]

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    1. Yes, my father was a hunter and I'm really not against it, when people eat the food they hunt (and I'm a vegetarian). But the guns always made me really uneasy.

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  8. It is so sad to imagine the children living in fear in places where gun shots actually mean fear. It's almost too much to imagine.

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    1. It is too much, especially when I feel powerless to do anything about it.

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  9. A time to be thankful, no shame in that. Gated communities have their share of troubles, we just don't 'see' them or 'hear' them... in the next county over, very wealthy and privileged... and a high rate of teen suicide because of the pressure to be the best at everything... or else.

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  10. My children attend schools in pretty rough neighborhoods. It might sound odd, but I am grateful they know that all kids aren't from homes just like theirs. In my daughter's high school, there are even kids who live in a homeless shelter.

    It has taught them to be grateful for what they do have AND to be compassionate. We all have needs of some sort, we all of fears of some sort, and consciousness will help each and all.

    (I'm here from the Hop Til You Drop Blog Hop! If you would like to read my post, Visit here!

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    1. Julie, I was a teacher of many kids from rough neighborhoods. One day, one of my second grade students came in with a newspaper article that was about the size of a matchbook. I asked him what he had brought for the class. He said, "It's about my sister. She was shot." I could barely get my heart out of my throat and say something in response. Thankfully, his sister was physically ok. I doubt any of us will ever be the same emotionally though.

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  11. I can only imagine what that must be like for people. I think about that sort of thing a lot when people talk about 9/11. What a terrifying and terrible time it was for all of us... but some people see things like that happening around them ALL THE TIME. It doesn't lessen the horror we've felt, but it certainly puts in in perspective for me.

    LOVE your blog name btw.

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    Replies
    1. We are very lucky...Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot!

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  12. Hi, I'm visiting from Picklebums.
    Good post - you've captured those feelings we all go through at lightening speed in situations like this.
    You can't help, when reading of things like what's happening in Gaza and Syria, and even in that murder of the Iraqi family in France, but imagine your own child in that situation. The fear and horror is awful. Then you feel guilty for thinking of your own kid who is safe instead of the actual kids suffering... Then you feel defensive, then despairing, then you just want to give up and retreat back into our safe world... All natural human feelings.

    A psychologist told me a great thing once, when I was worried there was something wrong with me for visualising disasters in potentially unsafe situations: "Your brain isn't interested in making you happy, it's interested in keeping you alive." Those visualisations and feelings help us deal with it and allow us to rehearse what we would do or how we would save our kids. (Even if, in a real life situation, there might be nothing you could do).

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  13. i can't imagine how that must feel..but you're right, it's so important that we take those moments do become aware again of how good life is and how good God is
    oh and thanks so much for joining the almost friday blop hop today! :) glad to see your link there!
    morgan

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    1. Thanks, Morgan! Glad to be with you. Our life is good, for sure.

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  14. it's a balance isn't it?
    and a grey haze of reality
    great story - loved reading
    xx

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    1. Thanks, Josefa. I don't think I've figured out the balance quite yet!

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  15. Thanks for sharing...and thanks for linking up <3
    Loved reading this!!

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    1. Thank you, Cami. And thanks for the link-up!

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  16. as everyone else, said this must have been so difficult.

    xo

    love & cheer from thechiffondiary.com :)

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  17. this is such a tough one. pray you and yours are without fear today.

    Aloha Sweet Friend,
    We are gathering for An Aloha Affair , a sweet sort of mingling and sharing and growing together. I would so love it if you'd join us. You will always be welcome, anytime. Save ya a seat?...

    xo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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    1. Linked up! Thanks, Nicole. Yes, we are without fear today. Unlike many around the world.

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  18. Isn't it funny how our mind can go from knowing one thing and exaggerating it in the end! I'm so guilty of that! And the fact that we don't really have to live in fear the way others around the world do is such a blessing!

    Thanks for stopping by the Tuesday Baby Link Up! I hope you'll come back and link up with us again tomorrow!

    Christie
    http://satisfactionthroughchrist.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes, we are blessed. Thank you, Christie.

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  19. Oh very scary! One of those tricky moments of parenthood.

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  20. So many people across the world live in war torn communities, it is a reminder to value what we have and to engage positively in our communities to maintain peace.

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    1. Very well said, Bree. Thank you for adding your thoughts.

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