I watched our birth video today for the first time. I had to get up the courage beforehand. I had a pretty crunchy birth – midwife, birthing center, no drugs whatsoever -- but I was never one to want a record of the whole scene.
I was pretty sure that I didn’t want the clinical perspective - a blow by blow, so to speak. I figured her birth would be better left filtered through the gauze of time and the haze of memory.
Then, while we were in the final stages of labor, George asked me and I changed my mind. At the time, I wasn’t really sure why. I guess you could say that I was a tad preoccupied, so it just didn’t seem to matter.
Actually, I think that’s the point. The only thing that mattered was getting her into the world safely. I didn’t care if someone was videotaping. The President could have walked in the room, and I wouldn’t have been bothered.
As I was watching the video today, I seemed to have this same focus. The gory details (and there were some) and the bits of my anatomy revealed seemed secondary to watching her come into the world for the first time.
I never really understood how people could describe the birth of a child as beautiful, given the pain and gore. Well, I found it stunningly beautiful. I stand corrected.
I swore I wouldn't give advice on this blog but, if you are having a child, videotape the birth. If you decide you don’t want to watch it, you don’t have to. You can always just delete it.
Or you may surprise yourself. I didn’t think I wanted to watch it either. I’m really glad I did.
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