MEMORANDUM PRIORITY: URGENT
2/9/2013
To: Powers that be
Fr: Rachel Demas, The Tao of Poop
Re: Toddler Tantrums
First, let me take a moment to thank you for the opportunity to engage in toddler tantrums at the tender age of 18 months old. While we thought our daughter was a bit young for such behavior, we remain optimistic that getting a jump on the situation now will serve as great preparation come the dreaded "terrible twos" stage. Actually, the terrible twos brings me to the central issue of this memo.
It was my impression that tantrums this frequent, illogical, random, protracted, unpredictable, overwhelming, and unmanageable should commence when my daughter reaches the age of two, preferably on her birthday and not a day sooner. To my knowledge, they are upon us now. The early onset of this situation has me shocked and confused, and brings me to a question and a request.
Question: Will my daughter's tantrums get worse when she turns two? Given our current circumstance, I don't see how this scenario is possible. I write seeking your reassurance that this fear is as irrational as my daughter's recent tantrums seem to me. Your reassurance in this matter will allow me to move forward knowing that, indeed, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Request: Because my daughter's tantrums began at 18 months old, I would beseech you to relieve us of their burden by the time my daughter is two and a half. I realize I'm probably not the first parent to solicit your intercession on his or her behalf, and have no other special circumstances to report, which would have given my case additional merit. Further, I am aware that, as a first-time parent, I may appear naive about some of the vicissitudes of a toddler's behavior. However, I merely ask that you see the logic in my math. If the terrible twos start six months early (as, indeed, they have for us), I believe they should end six months early as well.
Please find attached requisite form OP-160 for your review. In advance, I appreciate that you have taken this missive under advisement. Further, I realize that you must be extremely busy with other pressing issues from desperate parents like me, so I would like to thank you for your attention in this matter.
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Photo Source: John Fera, Wikipedia, license
Omg, I can so relate and had my sweet baby throwing tantrums at a little under 18 months too and was hoping and praying for the same. At not quite 2 1/2, we still have tantrums and would love to put the same request in with you!! Rachel, awesome post and seriously can so relate!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that misery loves company, Janine!
Deleteoh yes...I understand. the good thing for me about having so many kids is by like #5 I could care less about tantrums, really, I didn't hear or see or care... and they lost all effect....wish I would have known that earlier.
ReplyDeletehang in there.
she is asserting her independence!
I appreciate the encouragement. I need to get to #5 right now!
DeleteSettle in Mama, it's a long, rough, 16 year long ride.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to contemplate that idea!
DeleteNow that's just mean. It's not like its a solid 16 years of terror...it comes and goes. Like hurricane seasons.
DeleteMy guys are 5 and 14, so I can tell you that the craziness comes in fits, usually around growth spurts. Then they figure things out and settle down for a while. Until some new developmental issue pops up.
Ooohh yeah. We started at about 16 months. I'm my experience I can say that they become less frequent but more intense in the coming years. Which, for me, has been more manageable. And plus, at four and a half, now my daughter understands when I threaten her life, which works in my favor.
ReplyDeleteYes, it will be a long ride.
DeleteHey - you've had it easy! My second used to have a tantrum every meal time, just as anyone feeding her scraped the plate to make sure there wasn't a crumb left! Guess what, even though we were as quiet as mice, the change in feeding rhythym was sufficient to set her off. That was at about 6 months, when solids began to be introduced: it went on for what seems years, but was probably about 2 years!
ReplyDeleteGood luck - and try to ignore them, if you're at home: appreciate it is difficult if it is in the middle of the supermarket aisle (we had them there too!)
Isobel: www.ColdhamCuddliescalling.blogspot.com
We haven't had a big meltdown in public...yet!
DeleteGreat post! I really feel for you. Dr. Dobson from Focus on the Family used to advise throwing water over a child going through a blue-in-the-face kind of tantrum. It doesn't hurt, it only shocks sense into them, hopefully. If it's at the supermarket, you join the ranks of the bemused observers and ask out loud, "I wonder who's kid that is?"
ReplyDeleteAn important lesson in life is that "no" means "no." Don't let your child have power over you.
Thanks for linking on my Make My Saturday Sweet!
I generally want to claim her as my child. Hopefully that impulse will continue!
DeleteI'm sure the tantrums will stop six months earlier as a result ... probably some time around her 19th birthday.
ReplyDeleteha/ha! Touche!
DeleteYou're so adorable and funny. My son started having tantrums at 18 months, too. He would actually bang his head on the floor (ouch) and walked around with a bruised knot on his forehead for about 2 weeks before he realized that he was being ridiculous and that it hurt. With that said, his "terrible two's" weren't really that bad. Fingers crossed for you! And you TOTALLY deserve the tantrums to end 6 months early. Probably even sooner as a reward for totally throwing you off when you're not prepared yet!
ReplyDelete<3
Fingers crossed is right! That's about all I can muster!
DeleteHahaha! You're so funny :) But in all seriousness, the terrible two's are a joke. It's three you have to worry about. With my experience, both my baby sisters and my daughter started their tantrums around 18 months as well.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is almost four and her tantrums are getting less frequent, but she sure packs a LOT of attitude! At two, it was mostly frustration, but at three is when the tantrums really kicked in. She's better at verbalizing now, so I'm hoping four will be a good year to kick it up.
That being said, my sisters are now 6 and 8. Now, because of the close age gap, it's possible that the older one did not cease her tantrums because she saw the younger one getting attention for it... But either way, both of them still have full on meltdowns, worse than my preschooler, might I add. It's to the point where I avoid visiting them just so my daughter won't be compelled to pick up on their behaviour.
I don't know if that's a fair solution or if my daughter will continue to have tantrums until she's 50, regardless... But what's a Mom to do?
Chin up, buttercup. Do what I do: pray your daughter won't be like my sisters and find a vice. Mine is two-bite brownies and terrible television shows. ;)
Yes, I hadn't even heard of the trying three's until recently. Ugh!
DeleteLOL. I feel like you are just telegraphing my future, and I'm afraid... very, very afraid. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish for you that you do not walk in my footsteps1
DeleteAfter four mornings in a row with a screaming, crying-for-apparently-no-reason 16 month old,I am definitely in your boat. Hugs! Funny, I wrote a similar "complaint" letter to Management at Parenting Headquarter awhile back, but way to take it to the next level- straight to the big guy!
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty, with my oldest daughter, i found this age to be MUCH more challenging. Things actually improved dramatically at age two. Hang in there- there's hope. This may be the worst of it for you guys, too!
Everyone's stories are very helpful. I hope that my daughter follows in this trajectory too.
DeleteYou had me at the Judy Blume reference. :)
ReplyDeleteOur son was great when he was two, and has just started having little fits (he's 5). Not like a 2-yr old, but still...when he doesn't get something he's huffing and puffing. We're trying to nip that in the bud quick. Good luck to you and good luck to us. :)
Oh, five. I'm totally jealous!
DeleteOhhhhhhh wowzers. I honestly didn't know the tantrums started that early. Now, I'm not so good with the numbers, but I think you have a working formula here.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your request. I'll light a scentsy warmer for you.
ha/ha! Thanks, I need all the help I can get!
DeleteLOL... Man, I thought I missed the terrible two's having no sign of tantrums in the year of 2. However, when we hit 3, life turned upside down for about two years. They were a different type of tantrum. Not the throw yourself on the floor type, but more of a "I'm going to make silly arguments and argue with you until I get my way" type tantrums. He threw himself on the floor ONCE. He hit his head so hard that all subsequent times, he laid himself down slowly. Rolling his back onto the floor. It was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteSounds like he's a quick learner!
DeleteThe Carpenters had a song in the early 70's called, "It's Only Just Begun." Parenthood ... isn't it wonderful? lol Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteha/ha! Yes, I recall that song.
DeleteLOL ~ Love this post! Reagan is mind mature for her age. She is two but acts like she's older (looks it too!) and she started with the tantrums earlier than two.
ReplyDeleteIt's unnerving.
I just hope that she grows out of it quicker!
Thank you for linking up with Raising Imperfection.
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Unnerving is a good word for it!
DeleteUgh. I am not looking forward to this whole terrible twos thing. I wish you luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your favorite post at Raising Imperfection! We feature our favorites on Friday, make sure to come back and check.
Leslie
www.violetimperfection.com
Yes, Leslie, you are right behind me...
Deleteyou are funny!! my eldest started at 14 months and at nearly 4 is still chucking massive tanties although not so much!! My youngest started at 22 months and his tantrums are laughable!! Good luck!!
ReplyDelete14 months! That's too much!
DeleteOooh, this is just opening my eyes to all the goodness that I have to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteOh, man, Alyx, you need to just stop reading my blog! I'm ruining things for you!
DeleteGood luck Rachel. Mine are 3 and 15 months. They both have their moments, I am not looking forward to their teenage years! I have been through that with my boy, and I ain't looking forward to it with two girls. The only light at the end of the tunnel is that they will (hopefully in the grand scheme) become my best friends and still love them to bits :)
ReplyDeleteAw, so sweet, Alicia!
DeleteIf you think your situation with tantrums and the 'terrible twos' are something worth asking help and advice on, then...just wait. I had a daughter that was more or less a perfect baby/toddler...but oh how things changed with the teen years came 'round.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can say is, just take it in stride, use some tough love on her from the get-go and always always be there for her as a disciplinarian and not a good friend. The friendship bonding comes later.
I agree that you need to mother a child, not be his or her friend!
Deletehahaha! This is hilarious. Our daughter also hit the "terrible two's" at an early age, but it did not seem to last too long. Our son is turning two in a few weeks..he's been wild and crazy since birth, so I'm holding my breath on what'll happen then!!
ReplyDeleteI found you on Mommy Moments. I'm a new follower, I'd love if you have time to check out my page :)
Holly, http://mymommyandwifelife.blogspot.com
I'm hearing a lot of people saying it dies down. I hope you're right!
DeleteBahahaha don't worry at 2 they get even worse. :) Thanks for joining the I <3 My Blog {Hop} !
ReplyDeleteJamie
Wait! A couple people said it gets BETTER???
DeleteI could have written this.. well, I could not actually have written it as funny and quirky as you did but we are in tantrum mode over here too.. I even throw the occasional one for good measure.
ReplyDeleteha/ha! Yeah. I like to get in on the action every now and then too! I think we all do!
DeleteYes! Can I get a copy of this form please? You are brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI don't think the form will help, unfortunately!
DeleteI am absolutely of no help to you. Our son was perfect! (I'm hoping you see the hint of sarcasm.) He is now just newly minted 13....enjoy the tantrums! No, actually a bit of seriousness here if you'll allow me, there is nothing that can make a person doubt themselves more, than tantrums. Maybe the water suggestion above isn't such a bad idea.(OK, I'm still kidding here.) Have you tried music? Bruno Mars? Classical? You know what my son loved was the little Christmas tree lights. We hung them in our room and when he couldn't get calm, we'd turn out the main bedroom lights nad he would just be transfixed by the Christmas lights. Good luck! And yes....you should get a reprieve.
ReplyDeleteOh, man. You got me. I really thought your son was perfect! The music suggestion is a good one. I'll give that a try.
DeleteYep. Every stage has it challenges. Buckle up. You are doing OK if you can make some funny lemonade out of the parenting lemons. Erin
ReplyDeleteEither laugh or cry!
Deletehaha, this post is adorable.
ReplyDeletemothersniche.com
Thanks, Kristina!
DeleteJU SO FONII!! This stage is to toughen everyone up, wet y'alls whistles as it were. The real testing comes during puberty ::shudder::. Enjoy these days, you'll be saying "oh she was so much easier as a baby" soon enough. BB2U
ReplyDeleteBB, you are always so philosophical about it all. I love it!
DeleteGreat post. I love the way you formatted this. It added humor to this all too familiar situation.
ReplyDeleteToo funny. I can definitely relate. One of my twins started the tantrums at about 18-20 months. His brother, not until recently at 2. So...I'm guessing I'm doomed until at least next winter when they turn 3. :) Thanks for the laugh over a not-always-laughable situation. And, good luck.
ReplyDeleteHolli @ Full Hands, Full Hearts
What's your problem? Obviously she's simply a genius, way ahead of the curve. By 2 she'll likely be reading books without pictures.
ReplyDeleteAlready is, thank you very much!
DeleteLOL! I remember when my son was pre-two, and everyone said, there's no such thing as the terrible two's it's really 1 and 1/2. Then when 3 hit, they were all, there's no such thing as the terrible 2's it should be the terrible 3's. Well I'm dealing with the terrible 7's now, so good luck!
ReplyDeleteAh, three's...seven's. Shut up!
DeleteOoh, I don't miss the tantrum stage, the height of tantrums is 21 months FYI! Most people don't know that! So ignore, ignore, ignore. Nip it in the bud. Tantrum proof your home so you can walk away during the tantrum. (Yea, good luck with that!)
ReplyDeleteDeep breathing helps.
DeleteHey, I'm a new follower! Found you at the GYFBH! Your profile description is very inspirational!
ReplyDeleteI'd love it if you can follow me back :)
xoxo
ochibernadas.blogspot.com
Hahaha you are funny. My sons started at 16 months and we were horrified. We too had been under the false impression that terrible twos would start bang on his second birthday and not a second before. For us the tantrums didn't get any worse or more frequent at age two which was good, the bad news is when he turned three they took on a whole new unpleasant level. Oh Boy!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Featuring this on this weeks Sunday Parenting Party
It's too early!
Deleteoh gosh, yes. I remember this!!! Thankfully I have teenagers now. It does get better. I find gin helps.
ReplyDeleteBest advice yet!
DeleteI can so sympathize with this! As a mom of 5 who's children all started the terrible twos sometime around 18 months I am right there with you. I hope someday mine grow out of it ;) Best of luck with your tantruming little one :)
ReplyDeleteMe too. Someday cannot come soon enough!
DeleteSorry, but they don't call it the trying threes for nothing *runs and hides* *passes tissues* PS My youngest is nearly four - almost there!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard of this! Bummer!
DeleteThanks for a great laugh! I remember thos days... I could say that it gets better, but honestly, it doesn't really!
ReplyDeleteI've got a 7 and 14 yr old, and well, it's still tantrums and poop!! ;) Following you from Friday Hop. Follow back?
Marianne
Sandling All Day
Oh, boy. Well, I'm a lot older than that and I still throw a tantrum from time to time!
DeleteLOL - that is an excellent piece of writing!! Good luck with your request. As a mother of twin 20 year olds and a 17 year old I will keep my lips sealed so as not to disillusion you ;-) Though I can say that I found the age of three to be a good age as you could reason with them and they are so cute at that age :-) Min xo (visiting via #FYBF)
ReplyDeleteIgnorance is bliss, so I appreciate it!
DeleteI'm hoping the tantrums end soon. Our youngest is ten, and the eldest is 14. Any day now, right?
ReplyDeleteThat's what I hear!
DeleteGoing through this now with my youngest. She's been at it a couple of months. She's two in 3 weeks. Ah well. My eldest mostly grew out of major ones once her communication skills improved between 2.5 to 3 years old. Maybe yours will do the same? I sure hope my second does! Good luck! Oh, and I find distracting the youngest from her tantrum usually works a treat. :-) visiting via FYBF.
ReplyDeleteI am hopeful that "use your words" will help. Once we get there...
DeleteMy daughter sure can throw a tantrum too, so I totally get it. I liken her to the incredible hulk sometimes, she is really into knocking over and throwing this mid tantrum.. it is charming. I just try and be patient and remember that it would last forever!
ReplyDeleteOh, my, the Incredible Hulk. Now, that's an image!
DeleteThere are sooooooo many of us mamas out there who understand! Not to self-promote, but as a mama of a 2 1/2 year old, I really think you'll appreciate my post about the not so terrible twos ;-) http://www.ithoughtiknewmama.com/2013/02/the-truth-about-the-twos/
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up at The Tuesday Baby Link Up!
I'll go check it out...
DeleteMy now 5 and 3-year-old never went through them but my 16 month has started already and it's driving me up the WALL!!!! Hang in there. xxx
ReplyDeleteYup. You too!
DeleteI'm right there with you mama. My LO is also 18 months, and the tantrums are upon us. There is so much to love too about this age though. They're learning so much, starting to talk and communicate. I love it! I just need earplugs sometimes ;)
ReplyDeleteHow come I never heard of this before??
Deleteoh how this made me chuckle... I can so relate.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am totally hoping that your request is followed through. I am sure the only reason my 2.5 year old has gone from wild 18 month old tantrums to epic 'howl till you vomit' 2 year old tantrums is because submitted totally the wrong form!
Wow, I've heard "incredible hulk", now "howl til you vomit". Yichs!
DeleteYou're funny but I have had all the same wishes and hopes. My little man has been throwing them since 17 months! Please God, be kind and merciful. Ta :-)
ReplyDeletePraying eases my frayed nerves!
DeleteHi Rachel. You are this weeks featured flasher for Flash Blog Friday :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bree. That's so awesome!
DeleteWow! 80 comments has probably already said what I think, but for what it's worth, GG started very early, and she's still going. She's 8 ;)
ReplyDeleteSo I guess my request won't be answered then, huh?
Delete