Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sweet


I'm loathe to add my thoughts on Valentine's Day to the world according to bloggy moms, because a) there's no lack for posts on the subject and b) I really don't have much nice to say about the holiday.

But I promise to make my complaints short, as well as to deliver a happy ending. Indeed, I even give you permission to skip right to the end, if you want (as if you needed my permission anyway)…

George and I are 0 for 4 for gifts in recent history. Our anniversary, his birthday, Christmas and my birthday all came and went without a gift. While this state of affairs certainly isn't reflective of how much we love each other, the "too busy" excuse is getting rather old. But, alas, I doubt February 14th will prove any different. 

It isn't George's fault. I don't like Valentine's Day. The holiday makes me passive aggressive. Anytime someone gives me a command to be nice to another person, I want to do the exact opposite. And since George and I aren't into S&M, there's really no way for me to act out this impulse in a clean kind of way. 

Plus, there were the many years that I boycotted the holiday due to, well, due to being perpetually single and not having a choice in the matter. During these times, my in-a-perfectly-perfect marriage mother would send flowers to me. While nice, the subtext of this gesture was extreme pity for my situation. Each fragrant bloom seemed to scream out to me, "Oh, poor, lonely, pathetic you! Someday, you'll find a man!" I don't like a holiday that discriminates against people on such an arbitrary thing as relationship status.

But my aversion to the holiday doesn't mean I don't believe in the power of love and the beauty of relationships. So, without further ado…here's the happy ending (Wait, you didn't really skip to the end, did you? Go back! Read about ME, dammit!…oh, sorry…) 

My bloggy mom friend Kristi from Finding Ninee shared a Valentine's Day project that I think is awesome.

special needs couple
Cool drawing by Kristi Campbell

You can send a Valentine's Day card via snail mail or the internet to a couple with special needs, who is celebrating their four-month wedding anniversary! (collective "awww", everyone!) As a former special educator, I love hearing stories that break through stereotypes about people with disabilities.  Go to her blog, Finding Ninee, to find out more about the project. 

It's sweet. Kristi's sweet. Valentine's Day's sweet, right? So this ends my sweet addition to Valentine's Day. 

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day to my one and only, dear and lovely husband, George!


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33 comments:

  1. You are SO awesome! Thanks for sharing (and in real life, I'm not actually that sweet but appreciate that I come across that way). Laughed out loud at your "Oh, poor, lonely, pathetic you! Someday, you'll find a man!" reflection on pity flowers from your mom. Funny.

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  2. I did see this on Kristi's page on Friday and left a message, too. What a wonderful story and I had my own reasons for not liking Valentine's Day (my grandfather passed away on this day in 1999). My husband has truly helped me with so many of these feelings, but it will probably still always be a day that I will remember with some of those thoughts and feelings, as much as I truly have healed quite a bit over the years. Thanks for sharing this again and just truly a lovely story!!

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  3. No presents four 4 holidays? Woman, you are way more grown up than I could ever hope to be. I'm already teaching my children to buy me presents. Is it that he's hard to buy for, or you just don't like being told to buy stuff?

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    1. Ah, my husband is my gift. I know, I know...It sounds sappy, but it's true!

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  4. Love this post! You sound a lot like me! I'm your newest follower from the "I love my online friends" hop!

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  5. I just saw this card project idea over at her blog and loved it! I'm with you--Valentines isn't really my cup of tea. "Passive aggressive" is the best way to put it!

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  6. This is a lovely idea - sending a card to a stranger of any kind is such a thoughtful thing to do. I think do Valentine's if you want and don't if you don't.

    Thanks for linking up :)

    Sarah @ A Cat-Like Curiosity

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  7. How neat!! Love this!! I love sending to our military as well and think we should do it for more than just Christmas. New follower from Mingle Monday.

    http://itsthelittlethings-ash.blogspot.com/

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  8. Hi from Mingle Monday!

    And I LOVE everything about this post. V-day isn't one of my favorites either. ;)

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  9. Hola Rachel!
    As always your writing is magical! Your words always seem to suck me into the story. Our stories differ as I started young and widowed young. So to me, Valentine's Day is a day for hopes & dreams! Thanks for link-up up Rachel!

    ~SimplyyMayra ;)

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    1. Mayra, I'm so sorry to hear you lost your husband.

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  10. That is a neat idea, and nice of you to share it. :)

    As for Valentine's Day I could take it or leave it. It's fun for the kids though. :)

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  11. I hate VDay. I did when I was single and I do now that I'm married.

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  12. Valentines Day is tolerable now that I have children to spoil. I blogged about this last week-there are far better days, like Independence Day or Arbor Day... Whether or not my husband actually does anything remains to be seen from year to year. Some years he is right on the mark, other years he spaces it off completely. He usually makes it up to me soon after the fact, which reinforces the notion that we really don't need special days to show our love for someone-it just sets you up for disappointment.

    That's a neat project! Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Agreed. I am excited for Claire to be old enough to have fun with Valentine's Day.

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  13. Happy Valentines day. Remember that with Valentines day on the 14th means discounted yummy chocolate on the 15th. There is the silver lining :)

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    1. That is hilarious! Always looking at the bright side, Jamie! :)

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  14. As you can probably tell, I'm not big into Valentines, either. I like gifts, just not when they seem to be mandated.

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  15. ok you are hilarious - you had me at Tao of Poop - great witty post.

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  16. I am not into Valentine's either but what a wonderfully, sweet happy ending.

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    1. Yes, that's the kind of thing that Valentine's Day could be for!

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  17. thank you for adding your wonderful blog to the Thursday Favorite Things hop. xo

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  18. oh, don't you worry. I'm not into valentine's day either. i mean i love my husband, i really do. but i have an aversion to following the "rules" in such matters. it comes and goes with only a nod from the kids in our house :)

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