Monday, March 18, 2013

Children Grow Up. Parents Grow Old.

George and I started talking about one of those 529 funds for Claire for college. I fear I'm going to break out in hives every time I think about it. Not for the obvious reasons, like the rising cost of college or that my daughter will be ready to leave the nest.

My reasons for gloom and doom are more self-centered. I start thinking about how old I will be then. When you have a child at 44, you're staring social security in the face (if it exists then) by the time your kid graduates from high school. In other words, mom is grandma's age.

I mentioned our impending golden years to George and he said, "Oh, I'll be 60, when Claire goes to college. Jerry's age. He looks great."

I just stared at him. It's true; our friend Jerry looks great at age 60...

"Jerry doesn't have kids," I said.

"You're right," he said. "I'm not going to look like Jerry."

Case closed. I usually don't win arguments that easily.

I recently found a picture of George and me online that was taken before we were married. I was on Google images with Claire looking at the Statue of Liberty. She wanted to see pictures of papa, so I searched my husband's name.

I was surprised when this one popped up. I had forgotten about it. We were at a fancy benefit for A.R.T. New York. Here we are with Director Ginny Louloudes.

Ginny Louloudes


Don't we look fresh faced? George doesn't have grey hair yet. I'm actually tan! I don't even remember the last time I was tan. Well, clearly, the last time I was tan was when this picture was taken. Wearing a dress is a distant memory also.

I can't say I would want to go back to the time before we had Claire. My life is much richer and more rewarding now. Before Claire definitely wasn't the good old days. But the days were certainly easier. And I miss that black dress.

I need to find a place to wear that again, no matter that I'm getting old.


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72 comments:

  1. I was 26 when I had my first child...and all my kids friends moms were SO old...I had my last child at 40 and all his friends moms are teenagers.

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  2. Totally feel your pain and at almost 36 years old, I feel every bit of my age now. Seriously, I don't want yo know what I will feel like at 60 at all!!

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  3. I think you look great! :)

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  4. I was 18 when I had my first child, one of the youngest mom's at school. I was 40 when I had my last child, now I'm one of the oldest mom's at school. There was 18 years between my 3rd and 4th children. My youngest is getting ready to go to college in the fall, and I still feel very young. It's all in the attitude. We have been friends with all the younger parents.

    I'm sure you will stay young and healthy!

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    1. But I FEEL old! That's the problem! :)

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  5. I was 31 when I had my son. 34 when I had my daughter. If I thought it wouldn't cause me to become wheelchair bound and put us in the poorhouse, I'd have one more before I turn 40. You're only as old as you feel... of course, there are days when I feel ancient...

    By the way, you do look fabulous! :-D

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  6. My partners hair has gone so grey its not funny!! Ok it is alittle bit!!
    You will wear that dress again, maybe Claires graduation??!!

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    Replies
    1. Yup! and ha/ha! I hope I find an occasion before then!

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  7. C'mon lady, you're not old! Age is only a state of mind. I've easily got you by 15 years or so. If I'm not old, you're definitely not old. Remember, the glass is never half empty. It's always half full! You've been blessed to have a child, enjoy it!

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  8. People always say you're only as old as you feel ... but I think I prefer you're only as old as you act. And if that's true, then rather than thirty mumble, I'm about fourteen years old!

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  9. Gina Davis was 44 when she had twins... tons of women have children later these days! By the time Claire is graduating from HS you'll be just as young as you think you are! Think young, be young. And surely your 'maturity' has made you a better mom than you would have been 10 years prior. :)

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    1. I am a better mom, for sure. I'm also old!

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  10. I'm one of the oldest moms at school, but I don't mind. :) I may when he gets to the high school level (if he minds) but right now, it's okay if they say, "Your grandma's here," which they don't yet...but they might soon, lolol.

    Love the socialite picture. Both lives are nice, but you're right, the latter is far more fun/rewarding. :)

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    1. I can hang with the ladies at Claire's pre-school, so, maybe, I'm doing ok! :)

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  11. I always had the oldest Mother when I was growing up. However, I went to a school where it was a norm to get pregnant when you were a teenager, so everybody had really super young Mothers.

    I was actually proud of having an older Mother.

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    Replies
    1. Aw, that is SO sweet! My mom was 19 when she had me!!

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  12. I was mid-30's and my husband early 40's when we had the girls. We are still on the fence of did we do the right thing by waiting to have children. Because our 20's rocked :)

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  13. I look back at pictures of me and my husband just after my daughter (now 11) was born and quite frankly we look like children (we were 30). I think as parents we all have days (and weeks!) when we feel ancient, irrespective of how old we actually are.

    That said, looking at your bio pic, you still look great - just make sure you wear that lovely black dress again soon!

    Have a wonderful day.
    Kate x
    http://www.kateathome.com/

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  14. Old is a state of mind. You're not there.

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    1. My mind is telling me that I'm old! :)

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  15. I can totally relate to this feeling. My mom had me when she was 22. I had my son when I was 31. She always tells me that she doesn't remember being as tired with two children as I am with one. Well, that extra decade of debauchery sort of kicked my youth in the face...and having a newborn later in the game, definitely makes it no easier on my formerly youthful face. Aging sucks. But, you're right...these little people definitely make it worth it!

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    1. Ha! Yes, the debauchery. I didn't get into that part. Thanks for reminding me!

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  16. Look at the bright side- you might be entering dementia as Claire's entering ::shudder:: Puberty. ; ) All is well & BB2U

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  17. We always feel so much older after we have kids ... but you are still a hot mama! So break out that dress and get a cocktail and take your handsome hubby for a night out!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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    1. Alright, Lanaya! I like the way you think!

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  18. Still, I think it would be worse to grow old with no Claire to love you and take you out for soup. And anyway, 60 is the new 40.

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  19. it's so common for mom's to start later these days (or at least it is around here) so I am sure there wil be a lot of Grandma's at your daughter's graduation!

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  20. I feel like I've aged so much in the last two years (since becoming a mum). I think you look fab and bet you still will when Claire is at college. :)

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  21. New follower from the TGIF Blog Hop!

    www.lukerfamilytales.com

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  22. Hi, visiting from blog hop. I can relate to this, I was 36 when I had my youngest. Yes it is very busy! But being that age I felt like I was more focused. I spent my time doing him and not trying to do me.
    http://fitandbeyond40.com

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I am definitely more capable of caring for a child now. But I'm old.

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  23. Well, they say you're only as old as the (wo)man you feel - in which case I'm 5 years older and he's 5 years younger. Some days I feel 15 years older and some days I'm amazed I have a 9 year old!

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  24. It's a bit worrying being so 'old' when they will be off beginning their adult lives. My hubby was 44 when Summer was born. I am just 40 and have a son about to turn 21! I have experienced both sides of the story. Summer is only 1, it will be another 20 years before my youngest turns 21, I will be 60! It doesn't seem that old to me as my mum will be 60 this year, and she still seems so young to me :)

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  25. I just compared that with your little pic in the top corner and you still look fab! I had my boy when I was 31 and as soon as I had him...bam!!!...my hair started turning white, really quickly. Arrrgh!

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  26. We all go through this mind set when we think about how we'll be when our kids are 18 whether we had them late or early in life. :)

    You still look great though!!

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  27. All my pre-baby shots are fresh faced too *sigh*.

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  28. I try not to think too far ahead or about the days before kids it's too depressing! Just enjoy the now x

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  29. We have the same concern. I also worry about my kids considering my age now. But anyway, we always joke that only buffaloes get old. Our are just mere digits, lol.
    Hopping over from TGIF blog hop.
    www.mitchryan23.com

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  30. I have to say that me and my OH are looking at having one of our own (my daughter is 6 but Ross is not her Dad) and I am now 41. He is 34. I don't think he realises just how tiring it is but I hope I look as good as you do for having had a baby. Thank you so much for linking up with #PoCoLo :)

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  31. I have photos like this, having had time to groom myself, relaxed, clean dress, slim, accessorised... I don't even have many photos of me in the last few years, I'm the one taking them, ALWAYS. When I got pregnant my husband was almost 40 (I was 36) and he did calculate his age at every milestone. He's trying not to think about it anymore ;)

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    1. All of those things! It feels like ancient history!

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  32. Hi Rachel! Too funny...I'm sure you'll be just as beautiful when Claire graduates! ;-) Besides, nowadays...44 is considered 34, so by the time Claire graduates, you'll technically be in your EARLY 50's...still young and spry! :-D Thanks so much for dropping by and linking up...have a wonderful week!

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  33. Fab pic ;) just enjoy them now I think x Thanks for linking to Wot's so #Funee xx

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  34. So funny! Right, we went out to dinner with two friends last weekend who did not have kids. They were 50 and looked like they were 30! No signs of aging. LOL they did not have kids!!! Very cute post:)

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  35. I'm an older mum too and it scares me so much I can't think about it. And yes, I'm sure that having kids makes you look older much quicker! Sorry to be late to this one - just catching up on last week's funees now

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  36. We are right there with you. Our kids are a blended family of 32 (my husband's daughter), 25 and 23 (my two boys) and 9 (ours together). I had my eldest son at age 25, and my youngest at 42. We kind of look youthful, so people think we are younger, and are surprised to know that the older three are ours, too.

    Definitely less energy when you're a new parent at 42. But you worry about so much less...

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    1. Yes, there's always good and bad in every situation. I definitely feel like a more capable mother.

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