Wednesday, March 6, 2013

This Time is Ours



I am composed of decades of history. Claire's history starts with me. 

I possess many identities. "Mama" is the only one Claire knows.

I struggle to remember being so young. Claire lives fully in the present without reflection.

I'm in awe of these distinctions. We see one another across a divide of time and experience.

Yet, we share an intimacy begun in the womb. Singularly, I am her mother. She is my child. I am humbled by such grace. I am overwhelmed by the weight of its responsibility also.

Parts of me have become neglected, the ones other than "mama", the ones from before her. I feel them flicker inside, exhorting me not to forget them.

But Claire began inside me too. She grows, still, in my gaze. It reflects back to her who she is and who she will become.

This kind of love only a mother knows, only she can give. It means that pieces of me lay fallow, for awhile. Claire won't be little for long. A day will come soon when I'm not the center of her world. 

Then, Claire will have her own mix of identities. They will have grown out of the relationship we are building now. 

This time is ours. I wish to savor it greedily.


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96 comments:

  1. Aww, Rachel!! So beautiful and as a mother of two small little girls, I can totally relate and loved this :)

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  2. This is so sweet. I have to remind myself daily to keep in mind that my children are little and very demanding for only a short time so that all of the non-"mommy" parts of me can be tamed a bit. Sometimes I forget that when this era is over it's over. So sad and scary but wonderful and definitely in need of greedy savoring.

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    1. "Tamed a bit" is a good way to put it. It isn't always easy! I think it will be worth it though.

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  3. Tears... Just so touching and beautifully written.

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  4. One would almost guess you loved your daughter! lol (You knew I was going to have to make a joke, didn't you?) Actually, a very touching piece. Very well done!

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    1. Ha! I love you more (you knew I had to make a joke)! Thank you, Rich!

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  5. Beautiful post. I know what you mean. My daughter came through IVF after years of struggling and medical issues. They are blessings and I can't ever imagine not having this amazing time with my little girl.

    Irene

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  6. you know i love this! one advantage to being an older first time mom - i think - is that we recognize the need to enjoy every little moment, even when it pulls us away from what seems so important at the time. Good luck tomorrow! you will be wonderful!

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    1. Yup! You are so right, Melissa. I also find that I've done a lot in my life already. It's easier for me to put me aside.

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  7. Wow, Rachel, again and again, you remind me of what's important. Thank you for that. We had a challenging day here as Tucker was out of school for "snow" and I, at times, felt so overwhelmed by the "mommy, look!" stuff. Thanks for putting it in perspective. You are so AWESOME... <3

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    1. Aw, thanks, Kristi! It isn't easy, for sure!

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  8. Love this. I just sent your blog over to my friend who is the mom of an almost three year old. I think she would really benefit from and love your writings.

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    Replies
    1. Aw, what a compliment, Stephanie. Thank you!

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  9. What a beautiful sentiment. I think you have quite a writing gift. Thanks for posting. Followed you from Her&Nicole blog hop. Have a blessed day!

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    1. Wow, you just made my day! Thanks and have a blessed day, too!

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  10. Hi there!
    Thanks so much for linking up with us at the "Linkin with my ladies" Thursday hop! We still have new blog's linking up if you want to stop by and check them out!
    Thanks again!
    Katie~
    http://dysfunctionsjunction.com

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  11. Beautiful Rachel! Again, your words are truly inspiring. I was just commenting on another blog that it is amazing what magic we see and create with our daughters by wanting to be present in the moment with them.
    I don't know how I will be when she gets her own sense of identity and I am no longer the center of her world. Scary thought ... I just hope I did a good job as her mother when that day comes!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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    1. Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
      Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

      ¤´¨)
      ¸.•*´
      (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
      www.raising-reagan.com

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    2. Lanaya, you are clearly a lovely woman. I have no doubt that you are doing a wonderful job as a mother!

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  12. Beautiful, you have such a way with words.

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  13. Hey! Thanks for stopping by! I follow you via GFC:-)

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  14. Found you via Linkin with the Ladies. Your post is touching! As the mom of 5 (now grown) I agree that you should savor it greedily! Do come link up with me athttp://nanahood.com/frog-legs-and-fried-chicken and lets get to know each other! Will follow you!

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    1. Thanks, Teresa. I'm amazed at five kids!!

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  15. Great piece of writing. I often look at my kids and really can't believe that they were created and grew inside of me.

    Visiting from the Our Every Harvest Hop (http://www.journeysofthezoo.com/2013/03/weekly-humorous-drivel-mexico-earthquakes-monkeys.html)

    Follower via GFC (http://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=1731204445266420681).

    Besos, Sarah
    Zookeeper at Journeys of The Zoo

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  16. What a beautiful piece! My children are the best things I've ever done. Ever.

    New follower from the Aloha Friday Bloghop!

    www.MommaCandy.com

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    Replies
    1. Yay! I love it, Shauna! I feel the same way!

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  17. Beautiful! ... the use of more words would drown out how simply... Beautiful that piece is! I found you via Spilled Milkshake GTY Blog Hop... so glad I did.

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  18. Aww, so sweet and beautiful!! Made me cry a little this morning!

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  19. So glad I found you through the Friday Chaos! Beautiful post!

    www.mychillthoughts.blogspot.com

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  20. Hi Rachel, thank you for linking up and I followed you as well :)

    Have a great day!

    Anne

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  21. Hello Rachel!
    Thanks so much for linking up on the GYB hop yesterday! I love the name of your blog - too funny! This post reminds me to savor each moment with the my kids - even the crazy ones! :)
    Ang

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    1. Yes, you can't forget the crazy ones. Those happen often!

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  22. Beautifully said. I try to remember to stop, breathe, savor the moments, but I've done a bad job of it. My daughter is nearly 17 and I do not know where the time went. Visiting from the blog hop; stop by and see me at www.pushingonarope.com

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    1. I know that I'm going to feel the same way when my daughter is 17.

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  23. This is so lovely, my friend. Yes, cherish your sweet girl now because they grow up so fast. I know you may miss the old parts of yourself pre-baby, but trust me, it will all come back to you one day when Claire is a woman herself. Enjoy this precious time together. One day you will be her best friend in life!

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    1. Yes, I'm going to be headed down to Fla to hang out with you! :)

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  24. this is beautiful. totally identify with it. thank you for sharing.

    new follower!
    www.mamacase.com

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  25. Hi! This is such a beautiful post!

    I'm a new follower.

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    1. Thank you, Desirae. I'm glad you liked it.

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  26. hi this is marie, from listening rather then speaking.
    i am offering everyone who teams up in this take away giveaway free ad space, in honor of my donation giveaway. i am hoping that this will help people join my cause and be able to understand my cause. i have over 288 children counting on me to make this a success, so please email me regrading the free ad space and i will tell you how. mariexdxd@gmail.com

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  27. A beautiful reflection! Thank you so much for sharing at our Mixer this week. You brought a little tear to my eye!

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  28. Making the rounds with Harvest of Friends Blog Hop.

    I celebrated my daughter's 40th birthday today. I went to lunch and a movie with my children and grandchildren. My daughter, 40, my sons, 36, 38, & 18, and my two grandsons, 5, and almost 10. I still feel so close to all of them.

    http://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/

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  29. Aren't children just divine and you are so right, I adore every second with my darlings, when they're not driving me batty ;) x

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    1. Divine and batty. That about sums it up!

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  30. Hi! New follower from the I Love My Online Friends GFC Hop, and I would love a follow back at http://www.bullocksbuzz.com.

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  31. yes...YES. how we are all interwoven of then and now. growing her now into the future. all womb deep. love this.

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  32. Such a lovely post. Thank you.

    Thanks for sharing your favorite post at Raising Imperfection! We feature our favorites on Friday, make sure to come back and check.
    Leslie

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  33. What a wonderful way with words you have! I am a new GFC follower from Monday Mingling. I hope you have a wonderful week!

    Mary Catherine of Fun-A-Day!
    fun-a-day.com

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  34. Savour EVERY stage they are all special in their own way and continue to be so (except maybe the mid-teens).

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    1. Ha! I'm not looking forward to the teen years! :)

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  35. This is beautiful writing. The lack of memory of childhood is an odd thing isn't it? Yet it was so wonderful at the time often.

    Thanks for linking up :)

    Sarah @ A Cat-Like Curiosity

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  36. Hola Rachel!
    Your words never cease to resonate my soul! Enjoy every second of your little girl, time does go by so very fast! At times I long to go back to those years when mine were little...

    ~SimplyyMayra "/

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    1. Mayra, I think you are awesome, so thank you for your words!

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  37. I find it hard to remember memories from when I was a small child, I wish I could. You put so well into words what every mother feels. Wonderful to read :)

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  38. Hi! Newest follower here from the Nice to Meet You hop! Glad I found you!
    Monica
    http://monicasrrr.blogspot.com

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  39. Hello. I saw you at the Aloha Friday blog hop and I am your newest follower in GFC from http://inhighheelsanddogtags.blogspot.jp/. I look forward to seeing you over at my blog next :)

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  40. So beautifully written, this post touched my heart, making me think of my own sweet girls. Thank you for linking up with us at Tuesday's Prayers. Praying for you and your's today. :-)

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad you were touched by it. Blessing to you too.

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  41. What a beautiful post - thanks so much for sharing at the Baby Shower, Alice x

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  42. Beautiful words. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts at the Sunday Parenting Party.

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  43. Replies
    1. Ha! What a great reaction, Jamie! I love it!!

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  44. Wow this is wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing it with us, and for linking up at the Oh HAPPY Day Party. This is really a great reminder to cherish these days!

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    1. Thanks, Holly. Sometimes it can be hard to cherish the moments, but we need to strive too before they are gone.

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  45. A beautiful post about the beautiful story that is you and Claire!

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  46. Beautifully written sentiments! It's so strange to think I had 26 years of life behind me before I had E. It seems as if the last year and a half is all there has ever been of me, and I think that's ok for now. Thanks for linking up with the Tuesday Baby Link Up!

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