Friday, May 31, 2013

Views from a Passenger

I've been encouraging my husband to write a guest post for my blog for awhile. He would come up with one topic about Claire, another one about fatherhood. I would say, "Great! Can't wait to read it." Then, he wouldn't write it. So I was more than a little surprised when I woke up to find that he had written this piece while Claire and I were asleep. I was blown away that he chose this topic and wrote these words. I am lucky to be his wife.

I want to remark on the religious path of motherhood from the point of view of a father and a husband. By religious, I'm talking about the Latin root of the word, re legio: to reunite with things.

In giving birth, I've seen my wife, Rachel, reunite with parts of herself that were far away from her, or at least, parts that had been safely transposed into the intellectual archives of her past.

But when Claire arrived, I saw and heard Rachel touch base with things long gone: clarification of distant, vague moments that she knew had affected her. I saw her reach back to connect with the early experiences of her life, making religious connections.

I have made religious connections, too, but Rachel was the boxer, and I was the trainer in the corner with the spit pail. That's not a cop-out, but a fact: women take it on the chin, no matter how "involved" a father is. Claire passed through Rachel's body, not mine, and the echoes of that intimacy will always keep her a shade closer than I will ever be to Claire.


For Rachel, pregnancy was hard, and exhilarating, as religious journeys are. She suffered, got to know herself, and was transfigured. She got to know disappointment, and joy. She got to know midnight, as well as high noon. And I got to love her more deeply as I watched her take this ride, this scary ride, that she took partly for the love of me. What to say? I am thankful for my wife's courage to have a baby at 44. For her to have a baby at all.

And I am thankful my wife writes. Puts it into words. The "word" surrounding this religious experience. I love her writing, and I think, one day, Claire will treasure it as well.

And when Claire has branched off into her own life years from now, not needing us so much, Rachel and I will sit on the couch, hold hands, and leaf through her blog. We will read aloud the words she has put down about this incredible journey we took together. And it will be better than any photograph or home movie ever recorded.

- By George Demas

fatherhod_and_being_a_parent

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36 comments:

  1. oh, that is ever so beautiful. It is always great to hear what your partner has to say and when he does, it surely makes a world of a difference. We either like it or dislike but we will love them nevertheless.

    You are blessed, enjoy it all! Tell him "thanks" for such a beautiful passage to read and appreciate. tears of joy!

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  2. Oh my gosh this is so beautiful. George is definitely in the running for husband of the year, make that century! This post so eloquently shows his love for you, Rachel. You are a very lucky woman. I'd say more but I want to be careful it doesn't go to his head :)

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  3. Wow this is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

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  4. This is beautiful. Isn't it usually that only one partner has a gift for words? You're both awesome.

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  5. Wow, I have to agree with the majority here that was absolutely beautiful and loved George words, especially how he said you will always be a shade closer to Claire, because you gave birth to her. Seriously wonderful guest post by your husband and can totally see how much love he has for you and Clare, too!! :)

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  6. Beautifully written! Such a wonderful tribute to an amazing woman. :)

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  7. I'm actually crying real tears. So, so beautiful.

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  8. Oh my this is so beautiful and poignant---didn't expect to come here and get teary- eyed. Ahhh Rachel you are a fortunate woman indeed to have a husband who knows you so well and appreciates everything about you. And quite obviously loves you so much. Claire will be thrilled to read these words one day when she is older. Beautiful post!

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  9. Rachel,
    This is perfect and wonderful and totally made me bawl. Not just a little bawl either. I love that your husband is so supportive of your writing and that he really truly gets the religion of motherhood. I am in awe and love this post so much. So much. Please let him know how much I enjoyed reading this today.

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  10. Rachel, you are such a lucky woman to have a husband who is not only supportive but insightful and articulate. And he obviously knows how lucky he is to have you. This post was truly inspiring. Beautiful.

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  11. Beautiful! How wonderful that he was able to put all that in to words that we all can read. If my husband were ever to guest post for me, I'm sure I'd totally regret it! Lovely and thank you for encouraging him to share with the world!

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  12. Tears just rolling down my cheek...talk about inspiring! Geez! You are blessed mi Amiga!

    ~SimplyyMayra :)

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  13. WOW. I can see why you wanted him to guest post. Beautiful!!

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  14. I am ugly crying.
    Ugly.
    This is so beautiful. His love for you? Ah there are no words. Just beautiful.

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  15. Mujer please! Hanky alert next time ok??? This was soul touching,wrenching,while still being uplifting. To see the gratitude and love he wrote with, eres bendecida. BB2U

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  16. You are so lucky to have a husband who truly appreciates you from the inside. Who really SEES you. (italics would have been better). I am honored to have read such an intimate piece, high-five him for me :-)

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  17. What a beautiful post! How blessed are you to have such a husband to share your life with!

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  18. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!! Do you rent him out? Could he be a teacher to other husbands who are struggling to understand/sympathize with the significant woman in their lives? Wonderful, insightful man! Thank you for sharing him!

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  19. No words just a standing o *applause* by far one of my favorite 'guest poster' posts of any blog!

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  20. Loved it so much I added a post on my blog about this post!

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  21. Incredible words. You're right, you're very lucky that you husband understands so well the nature of the bond and the experience you've shared shared with Claire. So lucky that he understands the significance of your writing. And what a profound thought. Wonderful post.

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  22. I echo all the comments. Beautiful.

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  23. awww what a beautiful post :-) x

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  24. Hola Rachel!
    Thanks for linking up! I appreciate the love and support, my readers are going to love your this post!

    ~SimplyyMayra :)

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  25. Wow! It was very nice of your hubby to sit down and write such warm words. He did a good job expressing himself - way to go!

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  26. Bravo! I really enjoyed reading this post. Can your husband guest post more often? Visiting from the Doing You Well Link Up. http://catherinegacad.com

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  27. Absolutely wonderful, the writing and the husband :)

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•`¤... Jennifer
    Jenn's Random Scraps

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  28. Really enjoyed the post from a man's view. Lovely sentiments
    I loved hearing the stories from his viewpoint and the love for his family. I hope when you are old you do get to sit and reminisce with your blog posts.

    Visiting with DYWW.

    http://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/

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  29. this is such a beautiful ode to both of you, Rachel and Claire. what a gift. i hope you'll print it out and save it! bless you and your beautiful family. xo

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  30. That is such a beautiful post, I hope you'll treasure it forever.
    My husband has also guest posted on my blog - although it was in response to a blog about 10 things I didn't like about him!

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  31. What a really lovely post. I have to say that I loved the description about the 'boxer' and 'trainer'. You two make such a great team. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

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  32. I always liked being pregnant.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  33. Wow - I am sitting at my desk crying - this is just beautiful. What a wonderful husband - what beautiful words. What an amazing journey.

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